More of an apology :)

Life is too precious too consider throwing away. theres so many beautiful people in this world and mysteries and suprises you’d never expect and to cut your life short is throwing away any chance of having that. My mom always said it’s funny how things work, and she’s right. Having god come in my life in 10th grade couldn’t have been just a coincidence. i didn’t know the hardships and battles i would face later in life. God guided me all the way through there though, it was a miracle. i’ve made alot of mistakes along the way and my drug and alchohol abuse, while numbing the pain for a couple hours, basically took everything a turn for the worse. My suicidal tendencies were often because of the people i was around, lots of negativity, judgement, hate i thought. Little did i know i had some beautiful people helping me out and i can’t thank them enough. The things i’m writing right now are truly heartfelt. fast forward to getting out of school i am now 19, going to school and trying to be succesful. But this past year, i really lost sight and feeling of god. I still made the same mistakes, and I still continue to disapoint my parents and say mean things that i can’t really forgive myself over. But i know they forgive me, and that they love me. Still, after this day, being only 19 i still have a chance to make things right with myself and look at everything as a fresh start. though the feelings of regret and the way i disapoint people with my behavior will always haunt me, i just want to go forward and prove i can do something better with myself. There is just too much to say. after one year moving locations from my hometown i really lost faith. until last night i felt a “familiar” “voice”. And it’s beautiful, and he’ll save you from the monsters and these horrible people that try to break your house. he’ll answer your prayers when the time is right. its a mystery how it works. if you have been looking in the mirror and not happy with what you see, or if you’ve been angry with yourself and other people. He’ll be there to fix your problems, he’ll make you love yourself and others around you just like you were youthful again. He has a plan. If you’re suicidal, please don’t give up. I love you. You have people around you that love you, you have angels watching you, and you have god watching you and helping you along the way. he’ll be waiting for you. As dark as things may seem, TRUST ME. i’ve been there… don’t be trapped in your self pity and waste your years like me. Live laugh and love, find what makes you happy. find yourself again. find what makes you happy. and also, take a breather. no one deserves to live in discomfort and anxiety. i want to thank everyone whos been there for me. Thank you so much.