Not Anymore

“What’s up?”
“… Nothing.”
I had to steady myself before replying. Thankfully my voice comes out normal and calm. I don’t want anyone to know about it.
I calmly walk to my room, collapse on the floor, lean against the door and just cry.
I’m selfish. Stupid. Arrogant. A waste of money. A waste of time. A waste of energy. Fat. Lazy. Ugly.
Sink down, lying on floor.
Gay. Retard. ******. Dirty. Liar.
Even if I did leave, there would still be those at school who would just laugh at me.
Lol. She’s such an emo.
I’ve been crying to the point that it hurts now. Maybe I should….
Even if its painful, drinking bleach would be worthwhile.
I don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t do this anymore. I’ve been keeping that fake, plastic barbie smile on my face for over six years now.
Sometimes… I feel like doing it.
But.
The one and only thing that keeps me from committing suicide is all you guys. Believe it or not, I’ve read your posts & comments… They’ve given me hope, a different hope from the fake, breakable hope that people around me give… Your support warms my heart, even if its just a candle in a blizzard…
Strangely enough, you guys make me feel so much better than everyone around me… Even if I don’t know your names, we’re all alike, and I know how you all feel…

Thanks so much for everything