I’m suicidal for three years straight. I’m a victim off bullying, I cut, I have no friends, I love the wrong person and I have no perspectives in life. I tried to kill myself by overdosing and cutting veins but it didn’t work.
I want to combine jumping, drowning and poison in my last seconds of life. I want to do all of this at night. Here the European Yew grows wild in the parks. My aim is to collect several hundreds of seeds and about 200 grams of fresh leaves, mash it and ingest it. It will make me die of cardiac arrest. It’s not 100 % surefire way to die, so I have rocks that I will stuff my pockets and underwear with and some really heavy book I will put in my clothes, duct tape to tape my arms and elasticbands to seal my legs together. Having ducttaped myself, swallowed all the poison and stuffed my clothes with rocks I will jump off the bridge. I don’t want to jump into concrete because I’m scared, but I’ve no fear of jumping off the bridge into water. The bridge is high and located in a rural area where there should be no people at night, thus no one to help me if I changed my mind. The only thing I am worried about is that water might be shallow. But anyway, even if it is shallow, I will sever my spine and break ribs jumping into shallow water so it’s no issue, and if its deep and I don’t fracture anything I’ll drown anyway. However I consider jumping in winter because cold water will make me pass out and I will drown unconsciously. I heard that, excluding the damage from jumping off a bridge, drowning is a peaceful death. You struggle for a while, but when you breath in water you’re out cold.
I have some things to get done with, and than I have nothing to do here. Nothing keeps me here…
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Yoy might also drown. You will be duct taped and weight down as water fills your lungs and you scream and squirm in the water your eyes franticly searching around you for the hope of survival. Sounds fun o-o
Drowning is not a pleasant way of dying. If you have gone so far, I think hanging yourself from the bridge would be easier. Either way, good luck on your trip.
I would suggest not doing any of this at all. You are still young. Bullies grow up (or some of them go to jail), and you will find another person to love. My plans were kind of similar to yours when I was younger, but I am glad that I chose to live. I hope that you choose to live, too 🙂
Why do shotguns never get any love?
I know that you are not going to listen to anyone that says that you shouldn’t kill yourself. I don’t know how you are feeling but I can relate a lot. I tried to commit suicide 3 times and it didn’t work, I was anorexic but I’m working on my recovery and I’m doing pretty well. I still cut my wrists, my arms, every inch of my skin, but things got way better since the last time I had a suicide thought ( it was 6 months ago). I know how devasting it can be to love the wrong person. I’m going through that for almost 1 year and 1 month, I love a guy that told me twice that he doesn’t want me anyway. I can’t promise you that you are gonna find the right person, bcuz I feel like I`m attached to this guy till the last day of my f*cking life, but things do get better if you try to face it and hold on to the hope that I know it’s inside of you. Be strong and Stay Beautiful. If you die tonight you’ll be just another star in the sky, but if you stay alive you’re gonna be a bright candle in the dark. xx think about it
Do you know any tutorials on how to make the hangman’s noose? And where do I buy a line and for how much? Do I nail it to the bridge with a hangaman’s noose or with a simple knot?
@Dallas – I love my shotgun!
Don’t worry about bullies. They only bully you because they are jealous of you in some way. I was bullied until I became involved in student government and sports during high school. I met new friends and kind of ran that school in a way. Join a club or get involved in some extra curricular activities is the best way to meet people. You’re not going to be happy sitting inside or excluding yourself from people because you feel like they wont give you the time of day. Get out there!!
Good luck
I sound stupid I know, but after reading this I just want to cry. I wish I knew you, and that I could help you, but life will get better, I promise, I wish that I could just hug you, and keep you safe.. You could make a difference to hell load of people someday… I just want to let you know that you’re a brave mother-fluffer and that I love you ♥ I just hope you get to be happy. I know this probably won’t mean anything to you, but it’s worth a try… You no longer walk alone..
Um, no offense, but you won’t find it fun feeling water in your lungs before you crash, knowing you’ll die! You can remind yourself that you’ll be gone in a minute… But change your mind and what wwill you do when the same reminder turns torturous? Seriously I can think of a quicker way of going and you won’t have time to change your mind and you won’t have time for reminders. I won’t post what, but hint is that you’ll go to sleep but it’ll be too late before you realise you’re dead. Still, I hope you find sollace in whichever method yu choose. Just giving my two cents so you could stick with this one, change methods, or not die at all… Make your own decision it’s your life.
I second that. And sometimes they get bullied when in jail. Ahhhh instant karma! Goes good with evening tea. Oh wait I don’t drink tea. Ah whatever. Haha.
To OP: I have never in MY LIFE told someone anything affirming the action of suicide, even though I myself have been suicidal before. However, in this case as it’s been three years, I will say this…if you have pursed all other avenues, DO NOT PURSUE DROWNING BASED METHODS. You will suffer. It will hurt. You will feel fear. Intense fear. Think you won’t? You will, it’s not a voluntary reflex, it’s instinctual. Our bodies don’t like not being able to breathe, and they will let you know that fact for several minutes. It’s extremely extremely painful. You may as well take a blowtorch to your lungs. Choose something else. If you want a friend, message me (though I will be frank: I won’t help you kill yourself).