Im back again, to let out all my emotions.
Today is monday the 17th of june about 10:01am
It all started on sunday. I was working, like i would normally do at Macca. i was doing drive thur so giving to food to the cars and then ths guy was like to me ” Oh i swear i brought this face stuff” im like what? and he says ” your face! i have this brand of face wash and you should try it, ill bring it for you next time ” when he left i ran into the bath room at work and stared at my face.. ( I have a little bit of acne, but a pimple here and there and then some black heads, nothing major ) Then When i was serving a customer ( He was asain) he told his kids to close their eyes cause the girl has a yucky face. That offended me so much. Honstly PEOPLE NEED TO LEARN TO KEEP THEIR COMMENTS TO THEMSELFS AND ALSO EVERYONE WILL HAVE A PIMPLE HERE AND THERE SO PEOPLE WHO CARES ITS LIFE. the guy told me to clean my face before serving him. That night i went home and cyed myself to sleep.
83 comments
That’s disgusting people shoulld never do that to you!
Thats horrible. It will clear up. You should keep your face clean. I’m not saying your face is gross!!’ I get acne too :/ but doctors say to keep the face clean. Those people had no right though. So rude, so cruel. It will clear up :3
people just leave their comments to them selfs
So many people are selfish and inconsiderate of others. Only caring about themselves and what is good for them. Projecting their insecurities on others. I am a tall person and I get stared at wherever I go and so many comments. I learned to just let it pass right on through. If it is negative, then don’t give the little man with a big mouth the satisfaction of a reaction to his hurtful words. Just smile. Don’t ever let anyone take your smile from you. You give them so much power if you do and believe me they don’t deserve it. The real battle is in our minds what we allow to stay and what we allow to go. You will never change anybody or the way they act. For some reason smiling just erks people who are trying to be mean to you.
thanks! its hard
I bet it’s pretty difficult, if even possible, to “keep your face clean” while working at any place that has drive thru service. Grease is in the air, all around you, all over your exposed skin, in your hair, in your clothing… even in your Lungs.
Fast food and clear skin don’t mix.
I find it ironic that people eating drive thru food are calling attention to your blemishes. Though the first one kinda makes sense. Eating fast food, implying there will be a “next time,” and having purchased some sort of high end skin care product… that seems to make sense.
I guess too many people expect fast food workers to resemble the lies they are fed in TV commercials.
firstly, i keep my face clean but woring at maccas – like i dont even eat junk food, its part of puberty, its not my fault.
Thanks, im trying to take my mind off it but the way they both said it. just hurt me
I’m sorry. I have acne too and I usually don’t get comments like this but sometimes. Those people might have skin they consider pretty or whatever but their hearts are disgustingly hideous.
P.S. It sounds like we have similar skin since mine doesn’t respond to being clean or eating well either but one of the things I do occasionally is dissolve uncoated aspirin in water and put it on the bad areas. It makes it look less red for a while which is nice.
I want to know why you felt the need to point out that one of the guys was Asian.
i didnt mean to cause raisit comments. But when i was writing i wasnt thinking! im sory i offended you
You didn’t offend me. But I hope you make a better attempt not to be racist. Some people make fun of you for having a few zits. Some people make fun of others for having a different colour skin. You know firsthand how hurtful it can be to judge someone on their appearance, so you of all people shouldn’t be racist.
@beckyj – it’s not racist to report details of an observation. Clearly someone can be identified by others to be a part of several different populations. Writing that someone looked Caucasian, Native American, African American or Asian and was then rude is NOT racist.
Is it racist that forms of ID have a field for ethnicity. This discussion was going well and you’re being a big stinker.
Populations people descend from are often still clearly identifiable. Not always but often. The author was getting support they required here, and I think it’s offensive that you get on your high horse. I also think that you owe disturbedinlife an apology!
thanks! i didnt offended anyone. like how else was i ment to expain it?
This is the second post that she gets on her high horse. Last time she told someone to stop being a beat and grow up after posting about how this site needs to be kinder. lol i think its a troll. And coitus you said what i wanted to say only ten times better
huh?
*brat
Not you, beckyj.
so your saying in a brat?
Well I cannot stand it when people do not have even a child’s manners to (accept an apology) and bury the hatchet.
Disturbedinlife your patience and good manners are impressive to me. As author of the post you have the option to delete comments here. I would have exercised that option in minutes on beckyj’s comments. YOU actually apologized to her.
God bless you and you GO, disturbedinlife 🙂
thanks! im so sorry but you kinda got me lost after you actucally apologized to her? was i ment to do that? cause she is anoying me now.
@coitus. It is not racist to mention race. It is, however, suggestive of a racist person if they report details of race when it is irrelevant to whatever incident they are describing. That is why I didn’t accuse the poster of being racist. I simply inquired as to why they thought that detail was relevant. They poster was the one who first admitted to racism. And for the record, I was not the one flinging accusations or saying mean things. I simply pointed out that the effects of racism are they same as the effects of making fun of people with a lot of zits. Racism needs to be questioned whenever it presents itself. If that interrogation doesn’t happen, you end up with a racist society. The poster got plenty of sympathy and support. I reserve my sympathy for those who are themselves more sympathetic. You can go through my old posts if you don’t believe me.
@ate that person was a brat. And as I recall, I wasn’t the only person who said so. As I said, my sympathy is reserved for those who display more kindness to others. And that person was horrifically unkind to their parents whilst at the same one expecting to capitalise on their parents kindness. It’s one thing to offer support. It’s quite another thing to enable someone being an ass.
honestly i dont see what the big deal of me saying the race of the man. So what else was i ment to say? everything else if racist. did you want me to say -the man was of a non-english background. but i didnt mean to offend anyone. your making this out to be a massive deal. so just stop while you are at it. k thanks. @beckyj
no not you dsiturbedinlife D: not you!!!
And ah well you seem quite harsh beckyj, although that “brat” who insulted her mother didn’t deserve to have you calling her names. Quite hurtful to judge someone isn’t it? Your first comment on here actually concerned that. Anyway that post is in the past but something to learn from for all of us. And not one commenter supported someone being an ass, all of us told her to not be so cruel to her mother and expect her to do her favors, what we didn’t resort to was name calling. My point is you speak of kindness, understanding, and standing up, but yet you turn around and insult someone back? The girl insulted her mother, so you thought it’d be best to continue the cycle of insults by insulting the girl? You get my point?
A racist society exists because people will always judged, because believe it or not we do fall into the stereotypes of our race, not that we do it on purpose but theres so many stereotypes about every race thats its pretty hard not to be a little bit of stereotype. While racism is a horrible thing, it seems you are rallying a banner for the kind of racism that resulted in the holocaust, the slavery periods in many coutnries, not just black slaves.
oh, im sorry, but honestly i wasnt trying to hurt anyone she was just making a masive deal out of it and i wasnt trying to come back with insults, i was just trying to defend my point.
I get really tired of everyone crying “racism” every time anyone observed a visually identifiable fact, or uses a descriptive term to paint a picture of an event.
When someone says “a black guy…”
They want you to know that they saw a man with dark skin, and he played whatever role he played, in the story being told.
When someone says “he was asian,” you’re supposed to picture whatever you think are typically “asian” traits.
It doesn’t mean anyone is insinuating that any particular race is of lesser value, or more likely to be involved in detrimental actions.
It doesn’t mean anyone hates blacks or asians, or thinks they should have less rights than anyone else, or be treated any less fairly.
Noticing and mentioning visually identifiable physical traits, has nothing to do with “racism.”
But you know what? “Racism” itself, isn’t even the problem.
The REAL problem, is when people attempt to excuse heinous actions *because of* their race, or the race of another.
In fact, it is perfectly acceptable for anyone to prefer “their own race” over others. Anyone is allowed the right to preference, even if you don’t like their preference. The problems begin when that preference becomes harmful to others.
I personally don’t understand why anyone thinks any race is “superior” to any other race, or why “race” is even important to anyone. Obviously there is a spectrum of variance among humans, and obviously the differences are noticeable, but those differences need not be anywhere near as important as some people apparently prefer to make them out to be.
We’re all different, but we’re all people, even if some people prefer one race or another.
So, why did she mention the guy was “asian?”
Because she wanted us to better understand her experience. It’s that simple.
thank you! you understand me
Yes disturbedinlife mentions “Macca” and “Sunday” too. What in God’s name is disturbedinlife driving at? Could it be a conspiracy against Macca, Sundays and Asian men who say “yucky?”
I simply MUST know. Oh wait *reading the sign over the door* this isn’t the Asshole Project. Wrong site, my bad.
its shorter abrevtion of Mcdoanlds and sunday, honestly you make such a big deal of this @coitus
Macca is slang for MacDonalds in Australia. They’re also 18 hours ahead of the Pacific Time Zone in America.
9PM Friday night in Los Angeles would be 3PM Saturday afternoon in Sydney.
Kevin Bacon looks kinda Asian.
If you were an actor, would you ever do a scene with full frontal nudity? I don’t think I would. Imagine if any of your relatives watched it and saw your junk flopping around.
Ever see “Wild Things”? I liked that movie, but man….the girls in the pool were better than KB exiting the shower.
How much money would somebody have to pay you to get naked on screen in a major theatrical release?
Did you get closure on the “Macca” and “Sunday” questions Coitus? I can’t help you with the Asian thing – from what I understand there are a fair number of Asians in Oz.
I was joking (it’s me) take a second read Cosmic.
Ah, ok. Got it, thanks.
So pimply faced teenagers working at MacDonalds is a worldwide phenomenon.
People are the same all over the world.
Get bigger tits and nobody will notice your acne,
even the Asians will love you then.
I do like the Filet of Fish Sandwich there.
*McDonalds
*Filet’o Fish burger
Firstly i know alot of people that work at macas with a litle bit of acne so yeah.
@Cosmic Blip
@ate – basically what you’re saying is that racism is a fact of life that we all just have to live with. Well sorry but I don’t agree.
@clevernamr – it might be relevant to say ‘a black guy’ because you are describing someone’s appearance. Note that in the original post, there is no attempt to describe anyone’s physical appearance. There is only an attempt to single out someone who is Asian.
You say she said the guy was Asian because she wanted us to better understand her experience. But she did not mention the race of the first guy who insulted her. Therefore, the post is painting a biased experience of being villainised by Asians (a nice justification for racism), whilst neglecting to mention the race of all the other people who insult her.
@disturbed – do you understand that I am not attacking you? I simply want to make you understand how hurtful racism can be. I’m trying to make you aware of you’re own prejudice.
@coitus now yr just being silly. ‘Macca’ and ‘Sunday’ are relevant to the story because it is the time and place the even happened. Race is only a relevant detail to the story because the writer thinks its relevant. That’s the mentality of a racist.
@cosmic – random much? But you’re right about the tit thing.
In the OP, there are 3 characters. Only the race of the Asian person is mentioned. If you read the post objectively, race is a totally irrelevant detail to the story (anyone disagree with that statement?) so why is the race of the Asian person mentioned?
Answer: because the writer THOUGHT race was relevant to the story, even if it wasn’t.
And that, is racism in a nutshell. Trust me, I’m not one to call racism at every little jab. But I sure know it when I see it.
The most dangerous racist is the one who doesn’t even realise that they are racist.
I understand that its a lot easier to villainise a random person on a Suicide site for not showing unconditional sympathy than it is to tackle the global problem of racism. Because racism exists because its easier to ignore it than to speak up. All I did was point in our and I’m getting called all kinds of names by people who my comment was not even directed at. But the next time you’re crying about what a shitty, hateful, fucked up world we live in, wondering why the world is so unfair, think back on this experience and know that the world is fucked up because people are bullied for standing up for what’s right.
@beckyj
you really dont care if your attacking me, its just that you are making a massive deal out of something litle. Just becasue i said “Asain” everyone says the word, its natural i didnt mean to cause a massive fight. far out
Again on her high horse. Beckyj you are quite full of it. I did not say you have to live with the racism. Now you’re adding in words to make yourself feel better about it. The race of the man was not important, but it was not her being racist, just an observation. Racism would have been if she said a yellow skinned guy or something horrible like that, but she didn’t. If she had known what kind of asian he was she would have probably specified. Why? Because she just did, she probably didnt even think about it, but that is not the same as treating a white person and a different colored person differently without knowing or realizing. Becky you aren’t being bullied. In fact you’re making yourself the victim here, thats a common tactic for people who bully. For the record you weren’t standing up against racism, you just made a big deal because a girl described a man as asian. Don’t worry next time I won’t describe someone as black or white or brown or anything like that, wouldn’t want you to call me a racist nazi or something like that.
OH and isn’t it quite interesting that you completely ignored how i pointed out that you were the one bullying here saying the author is racist after you yourself said that bullying is so horrible and that we need to stand up against it. Double standards like that defeat the whole purpose of you are standing up for if you turn around and do that to others.
Actually the most dangerous racists are those that are open about it and that take matters into their own hands. Those are the ones who hanged people, lit burning crosses on lawns, and beat people of different races to death.
I am curious beckyj can you honestly say you havent ever been racist? Not a bad thought about someone of a different race or even your own?
Ah well the next time you’re bitching about how horrible people are and how horrible people on this site are, remember you’re on this site too, and you call people names, and you bully them. You are no white knight in shining armor. If you are really against racism join a group, fight back against racism in the workplace, in establishments. In all honesty racism stems from lack of understanding of other races and from lack of wanting to learn about other races. What do you know about other races beckyj? Their languages? Their cultures. Pacific Islanders don’t like to be called Asian. Europeans don’t like to be considered “white”. Hispanics don’t all want to be mistaken for a Mexican. The Hmong people came from Vietnam during the war but they aren’t communist spies. Somuch racism, so much hate, and here you are “standing up” against racism by putting down the author of this post? So in your mind, more hate helps solve the problem? Hooray lets add more lighter fluid to the flames~ (o~o ooooo fire D: I LOVE FIRE PYROS UNITE!)
thanks! i think everyone is sick of this beckyj
Talk about hijacking a topic..
“Look at me every buddy! My name’s BeckyJ I’m perfect and I’m here to explain racism on a post that used-to be about emotionally supporting disturbedinlife.”
It’s not the “Asshole Project,” Becky. This here’s the Suicide Project and your idiocy is driving over the edge. Change your bloody rag and make your own post. Then we’ll see how YOU like it, if anyone responds at all.
haha you make me laugh! thanks <3
Clearly, we should feel sympathy for that poor asian man, who was the unfortunate victim of being born with visually identifiable physical traits, and having them noticed and mentioned by the person he so insensitively insulted due to a visually identifiable skin problem that an evil probably-white person was unable to conceal.
Honestly, he struck first, and i think that calling someone “yucky” and telling your children to cover their eyes, is probably a bit worse than simply identifying “asian” physical characteristics on a strange human being who just insulted you for a reason beyond your control.
Shall i coin the term “acne-ism?” Or perhaps “dermatism?”
Because let’s face it, noticing that someone’s skin is different than yours, is “judging” them by their skin… whether it’s color or acne content, it’s the same thing. I mean, unless you want to step back for a moment and realize that humans are “wired” to identify differences and similarities, and correlate things they observe to their experiences, so that they can make predictions about what might occur, and decide what they should do next. Noticing differences does not necessarily correlate to discrimination or “prejudice.”
I still disagree that it’s wrong to favor your own race over others. I do, however, think it’s wrong to harm or demean anyone over such a preference.
I think people need a reality check, and to re-evaluate what the term “racist” actually means. Technically, if i am white, and state that i prefer blacks, i am still being “racist.” “Racism” isn’t the problem. Mistreating each other for stupid, shallow, petty, superficial and trivial reasons, is the problem.
Same goes for “feminism.” Think about what that word means. It broadcasts a preference for the feminine, as though to say “women are superior and should be treated as such.” And yet, they “say” they want “equality.” Obviously, they want superior treatment, not equality, or they wouldn’t label themselves in a way that indicates clear bias in favor of their own side, but instead, in a way that promotes equality. How about “Humanist.” Those actually already exist, and they DO believe in equality. We are all people, even if we all represent different points on the spectrum of human genetic variance.
Next thing you know, someone will have a problem with humans preferring humans over other creatures. Oh, right. That already happens too.
@OP: i hope your skin gets better, regardless of whatever color it might be, regardless of whether or not you notice when asian people look asian.
The irony here is that, disturbedinlife was probably thinking of “Mr. Yuck” when the title of the post was penned: “Rude People.” Ah but then along came Becky.
im lost.
Ate it sounds to me like you don’t understand racism at all. That’s ok, I don’t expect a 16 yr old white boy to understand it. But since you ask, yes I’ve some experience with racism. Being black and growing up in a white country, yes I had some violent, hurtful, terrifying experiences. I also talk to Hispanic, Asian and white friends about their experiences. I try to understand. I also didn’t calm the op a racist until she admitted it herself. I have not once in this thread resorted to name calling, unlike you all.
Flatus – I did not want to hijack this topic. My comment was directed to the oP. i was trying to have a mature discussion with her. it was you all who hijacked the post so you could fling abuse at me.
Clevername – you’re right, that guy was a jerk. But does that justify racism? Do 2 wrongs make a right? Your right, judgig someobe because of their skin is all the same, and that was my point all along – that the guy judgig her because of acne was the same As her judging his race!
There are hundreds of stories here about people being bullied. I don’t think I’ve ever read a post that specifically thought it was worth memtioning ‘oh and the bully was white’. Look, this is not the worst act of hate I’ve ever seen. I’ve been beaten and spat on an verbally abused for being black. Someone once threatened me with rape. This is not the worst by a long shot. But it sure contributes to very very skewed portrayal of non whites in our society.
@beckyj I’d be curious to here your definition of racism if you think simply mentioning someone’s race is a form of racism. Anyway your definition clearly isn’t the commonly accepted definition, according to Wikipedia:
Racism is usually defined as views, practices and actions reflecting the belief that humanity is divided into distinct biological groups called races and that members of a certain race share certain attributes which make that group as a whole less desirable, more desirable, inferior, or superior.
since the author didn’t express any belief that Asians are as a whole are less desirable, more desirable, inferior, or superior it’s not racism. You can say that you don’t like the TS for mentioning the race (I personally do because more details add to the imagery of the story) but maybe be more precise with your wording.
yeah haven’t read all of this but no maliciousness from the OP; really no cause to bring up racism here, when the OP is clearly in distress, looking for some support
Not meaning to come off the wrong way or anything here, but beckyj, you told disturbedinlife that they shouldn’t have mentioned the race of the guy who called them “yucky” but then you’re pointing out that AtTheEnd is white.
You could defend yourself the way others were defending disturbedinlife, that it was an innocent observation, but you were arguing against them, so that’d make you a hypocrite.
Or you could argue that you were using it to make a point, that can be perceived as racist, since you’re assuming on the grounds of him being white, that he has a lesser knowledge of racism than yourself, whom you’ve identified as black. Thus making it known that you think being white makes one inferior to someone who is black on the grounds of knowledge of racism.
I’m just saying.
And disturbedinlife, this may seem a bit strange, but can I ask you not to delete any of these comments? It was a very interesting read seeing the clashing opinions, even if not all of it was necessarily helpful to you. And I hope you’re feeling better now, best not to let those rude people get to you right? 🙂
firstly – the man told HIS kids that MY FACE WAS YUCKY
well beckyj is just making the massive deal out of it.
@MasonD
Golly gee I just don’t understand *face palm*
Becky would you please explain what racism is,
To everyone else like forty or fifty more times
Please, and maybe about how disturbedinlife
Is racist again 100 or 125 times? For good measure?
Some say the horse is dead. I say keep beatin’
That dead horse to a bloody pulp Becky we gonna
Need some jerky treats and sweet tea if we’re
Gonna get to the bottom of this complex topic
It could take months or years, don’t listen to
Those who suggest you’re a hijacker um
This post ain’t your toilet Becky you just
Settle in and work yer magic we like sponges
Break it down Becky make it plain
im even lost reading this
Before I go on, op, that was a terrible thing that happened to you and I’m sorry for that. I didn’t say it before because I thought enough people said it, but I suppose some things can never be said enough.
@searching for meaning – ‘yes I couldn’t be bothered reading the whole thread but I’m still gonna butt with my opinion’ many thanks.
@mason – you are the only person who has responded to me without resorting to name calling or a nonsensical argument. I thank you for your civility.
You make a good point, however I disagree. Me pointing out that ate is white is not comparable to the op pointing out the guy is Asian because in the OPs story, race was not a relevant detail. (Anyone disagree?). Race was, however, a relevant detail in my conversation with ate because he was asking about my experience with racism. So basically, yes race is a relevant detail in a conversation about people’s experience of racism. Look, white people experience less racism than others in America. (Anyone disagree?) I woulnt expect anyone to understand what they have not experieced. I am not an astronaut, therefore I don’t talk about wht its like in outer space with an kin if authority.
Let me make clear: that doesn’t mean white people can’t understand racism. It just means their experience of it is very different to mine. That’s why, apparently, its not really a big deal to a lot of people. It doesn’t happen to them so they think its not a problem.
@two weeks let m make clear I never said the post was racist in itself. I only said that mentioning details of race, when they are irrelevant to the story, is an indication of a racist mentality. Basically, its a tell. Eg, sometimes I meet people who cannot look me in the eye when they speak to me. Ill just think they are a bit weird, then a white friend will tell me ‘oh, it’s because they’re really racist’. Certain behaviours are ‘tells’ for a persons mentality. Is it racist to not look people in the eye when talking to them? Of course not. But it sure does set off an alarm that that person might be having racist thoughts.
Anyway, all this is totally irrelevant because none of us are mind readers. The only person who knows if the op is prejudiced is the op. so I implore you, be honest with yourself. Do have something against Asians? Don’t answer this question online because then you’ll just invite a bunch of people to comment. Just think about it. None of us will ever meet you so don’t worry what anyone else thinks. Just be honest with yourself and reflecting the impacts of those thoughts.
Nice work Becky 🙂 One down, forty seven to go.
‘yes I couldn’t be bothered reading the whole thread but I’m still gonna butt with my opinion’ many thanks.
beckyj, i read what was pertinent here…
You wrote : “You didn’t offend me. But I hope *you make a better attempt not to be racist*. Some people make fun of you for having a few zits. Some people make fun of others for having a different colour skin. You know firsthand how hurtful it can be to judge someone on their appearance, so *you of all people shouldn’t be racist.*”
– The comment was not necessary/justified from the content of the post; and yes, I did read most of the thread, just not every word of *every* comment (if I need to further clarify)… Time to let this go now, I’m out…
To the OP, I hope you’re doing okay. It’s a pity that you had to deal with this on here. Best of luck.
Searching for meaning – yes, I made tht comment after the op says ‘sorry I didn’t mean to be racist’. I was elaborating on what she said.
Ah, but, you skipped an important part:
“…unless you want to step back for a moment and realize that humans are “wired†to identify differences and similarities, and correlate things they observe to their experiences, so that they can make predictions about what might occur, and decide what they should do next. Noticing differences does not necessarily correlate to discrimination or “prejudice.†”
Look what each of them did with the visually identifiable information:
“Asian” guy: “she’s yucky, cover your eyes children!”
disturbedinlife: “he was asian.”
One of those is a fact, while the other is an opinion. One of those is meant in a derogatory way, while the other is simply a fact.
The difference is subtle, i suppose, but it is actually relevant.
At no point did disturbedinlife proclaim “asians are bad/yucky/mean/wrong/etc.”
I feel like beckyj has inferred a negative meaning from a place where it did not necessarily exist.
Perhaps disturbedinlife has encountered a high percentage of asians who perpetuate some stereotype? And if so, is it her fault they acted in such a manner, as to reinforce the perception of “asians” commonly being some certain way?
I would imagine mr. asian-guy probably “prefers” his drive-thru-window server to have clear skin, just as i’m sure ms. disturbedinlife “prefers” for people not to call attention to, and emphasize, a problem with her skin, that i’m sure she makes effort to correct, but simply is beyond her ability to control at this time.
And beckyj, that’s another point i was making: people get tired of being accused of “racism” for things that are completely irrelevant. So she “noticed and mentioned” that the guy looked asian. Does that mean she discriminated against him in any way? I don’t think so. I don’t think she felt that noticing that someone is likely of asian decent, would ever qualify as “racism.”
Would you say it’s “sexism” to notice whether a person seems to be male or female? I wouldn’t, but i know there are people running around decrying various very normal and necessary things. To me, males and females are not exactly the same at all. I do not want to have sex with males, and therefore, i feel it is both appropriate and necessary for me to identify and emphasize that difference. Heterosexuality apparently makes me “sexist,” because i am sexually discriminating against all males.
It’s this whole mindset i have a problem with.
Preference and observable facts are not the problem.
The problem is mistreating each other based on things beyond each other’s control.
If i CHOOSE to do something that brings you harm, then by all means, accuse and discriminate away. But if i just “am” something, then you shouldn’t mistreat me based on that. I understand everyone has prerogative, and many may not like, or actually dislike, things that i just am, and cannot change about me, or might not want to change… but just because i’m not what you like, that doesn’t require you to mistreat or harm me, or prevent me from living my life in any way.
Noticing someone is asian does not harm anyone. Calling someone “yucky” and telling children to cover their eyes, most likely does hurt someone… and in this instance, it surely did, or the post would not have been written.
I didnt mean to be racist! oh my gosh, honestly everyone is making a big deal out of it. it was 1 word and the whole of this website GOES INSAIN! honestly i didnt mean to do anything ok. just stop cause beckyj you are getting on my nerves and im sure some other peoples nerves.
@clevername
Clever, sure its possible I inferred negative meaning that did not exist. All I can say is that 40 years if experiencing racism has cultivated my spidey sense. So when certain language is used in a certain context, it makes me wonder. But as I said, none of us are mind readers. We will never truly know what’s in others hearts and heads. All I did was ask a question.
‘Perhaps disturbedinlife has encountered a high percentage of asians who perpetuate some stereotype? And if so, is it her fault they acted in such a manner, as to reinforce the perception of “asians†commonly being some certain way?’
Are you saying that disturbed life’s prejudices are justified by her experiences? I disagree. Prejudice is never justified. I’ve experienced loads of racism from white people, but that doesn’t make me prejudice against white people. My friends are mostly white anyway.
As I state repeatedly, I did not say the post or her actions were racist. Only that the fact that she thought it was relevant was an indication that she might have prejudices. Racism starts with the mentality. The actual impacts are almost superficial. I’ve been beaten by a racist but hey, bones heal. But that never would have occurred without the racist mentality in the first place. Basically you think actions are more important. I think intentions are. We’re just going to have to agree to disagree on that one.
I can appreciate you get sick of people crying racism all the time. But can you appreciate that the reason hate crimes exist is because not enough is done to prevent people from developing a dangerous, hateful mentality?
Yes yes we all agree Asian guy was mean. But he’s not here, we can’t talk to him so let’s move on.
@Beckyj
Theres nothing I can say besides I’m sorry. To both you and the original author. I spoke of double standards while calling you names and putting your efforts down. It took a wiser person to remind me to get off my high horse. I know you weren’t trying to start something. I am sorry for attacking you. I am sorry for blowing this out of proportion. I can’t take back what I said, but I can at least apologize for whatever its worth to you. It is actually heart warming to know that people who stand up against racism even in the smallest forms no matter what others may say. No I’m not saying the author was being racist, just your actions show you have more courage than I could ever have. So I hope you can accept my apology.
I realize the majority of my comments are negative now a days. So I’m going to stop commenting negatively. What I mean is if I don’t have something positive or supportive to say, I won’t waste my breath starting a pointless fight. In the end I just make an ass out of myself.
C’mon where’s everyon goin’, whaddya mean “sorry?” That there dead horse ain’t gonna beat itself *pointing* come back we.. We could hijack disturbedinlife’s post again and again with new tangential and even more assinine accusations.
There’s so much more to bigotry than your garden variety calling-someone-Asian-who’s-prolly-Asian. I’ll buy pizza and drinks *putting tables together* we can’t stop yet folks not until the innernet is perfect. Come on back and let’s get back in touch with our inner instigator don’t go pretty please?
The last laptop I had (RIP) used to malfunction all the time. I would take it to the same computer repair store everytime to get it fixed. If anybody except for The Asian Guy worked on it, I’d have to go back again within a month. The Asian Guy was great. I don’t know his name.
People would sometimes ask “Do you know of a good computer repairman”? I would say Yeah. Go see The Asian Guy at that store just south of Market St. (Can’t remember the exact street they’re on now. I got a new laptop last November). With the Asian guy I could usually go 2-3 months before something went wrong with that computer.
Anyway, I don’t see how mentioning something that’s obvious is wrong. Men seem to be a lot more technically savvy when it comes to computer repair.
Racism AND sexism *gasp* mmmwhaa you fuckers are beautiful (and probably Polish) my spidy sense ain’t tinglin’ because I’m the Brown Hornet *raising grape soda* cheers. 😉
@ate whoah that was a complete 360. Excuse me for being a bit wary… But that came out of nowhere… Thanks I guess. I’m sure you had good intentions. And you’re right, m also going to try to stop commenting negatively. I think that’s a smart thing to do.
@flatus if you have a logical argument to put forward, please do. If you just want to keep taking cheap shots at me, I guess it’s a free world so you can do that too. But… Considering youre the same person who told someone to ‘go jump off a bridge’ simply for believing in god.. Your sarcasm, vitriol and petty barbs at me don’t really hold water.
Oh and by the way beckyj I’m not a 16 year old white boy. I’m a Mexican-American meaning I face racism from Americans for being Mexican, and from Mexicans for being “white washed”.
everyone is racist rather in a nice or mean form, i could have deffently offended people but honestly i said i was sorry becuase she was making a masive deal out of it, im australian and we get called white people so i undersdtand you @AtTheEnd
Grand Wizard of the LAKE Jump Taunting Atheists here *bowing* surely I must have a character flaw or two, to jeer at(?)
I can’t blame chicks for thinking bridges and lakes are the same things. Hell their often attached.. Thatta girl. 😉
what?
Cosmic as I EXUASTIVELY state, it is not racist to mention someone’s race of yr describing their appearance. Racism is about INTENTION. Your intention was to describe someone’s appearance so your friends can identify the computer whiz when they go to the shop.
But I wonder what the OPs intention was, in highlighting the fact that the villain was Asian? Was it to paint a picture that Asian people are bad people?
You and clever name keep bringing up gender. That’s a whole other discussion not relevant to this thread. Come on, if we’re going to hijack this post can we at least stick to the subject matter of the post?
just leave me and the others alone. So when someone else writes a post saying that word or something racist you are going to attack them? good one beckyj. Please just go do some more damage.
Hmm, “hijack this post can we at least stick to the subject matter of the post?” It’s.. Well that’s impossible.
If you’d stuck to the subject matter Becky well shucks then where’d we be? The whole point is that:
1.) trolls (that’s you) can get trolled by other trolls (that’s me)
2.) you think whatever accusations YOU can manufacture ARE the “subject matter,” or to put it another way: you don’t know that you’re a troll
Own it sister. Drink up everybody *berrrRp* and buckle up this party just got started.
Hi Becky;
It seems like you’re awfully quick to assume malevolent intent when the OP mentions an identifying characteristic of the man who hurt her feelings. Is it possible that she only mentioned his race in passing? There are so many labels. Black, White, Asian, Middle Eastern, Native American, Tall, Short, Male, Female, Other, Homeless looking, etc. Everyone notices this stuff. Stating the obvious doesn’t make you a racist, misogynist, classist, or any other ‘ism’ that identifies you as a promoter of hate or intolerance.
There are racists out there. I’ll give you that. But c’mon – it seems like there are also a lot of people who can’t wait to be offended by the slightest perceived injustice. Is it possible that a teenager working the drive thru at MacDonalds is simply including identifiable physical characteristics about the man in her story?
I don’t know if she had malevolent intentions or not, but I suspect that she dint. But then again, I try not to jump to conclusions and assume the worst about others.
Peace
thanks
@ BeckyJ
When people get upset they sometimes resent the people that are being mean to them which is understandable. They base their stereotypes on past experience. When you have several bad experiences it’s easy to attribute it to a particular group even though that’s not always the right thing to do. You can never change that. Most of the people on this site have prejudice as does most of the world.
Is that comment racist? I suppose it is. Does it make them a bad person? Probably not. Are they wrong? Possibly.
You won’t find any geniuses around here so why have any expectations. Really, it probably would have gone unnoticed if you hadn’t mentioned it.
Too many comments on here for scrolling down on the phone. Plus, its too easy to make typos with this keypad. Sometimes I wish I had skinny Asian fingers. 🙂 Calm down, j/k.
@all:
Cosmic Blip: “…it seems like there are also a lot of people who can’t wait to be offended by the slightest perceived injustice.”
This.
If we’re “not supposed to judge” by certain criteria, then who are we to judge those who might judge by criteria with which we disagree?
And if we’re just “not supposed to judge,” then where might one draw the line, between “too much judging,” and having zero discernment at all, about anything?
Who decides what we are allowed to perceive? Who decides what we are allowed to acknowledge, should we find ourselves unable to simply not see something? Who decides what we are allowed to feel? Who decides what we are allowed to learn from repeated instances of negative experiences?
Let’s also not forget that one should never speak in absolutes, except in the cases where absolutes are necessary. Even if a majority of whatever stereotype group does, in fact, perpetuate said stereotypes, there are almost always members of those same groups who do not.
Saying something like “All X are Y” doesn’t always work. Some X are Z. Some X are Q or R. Some X… are just X!
And no, i don’t think all the hate in the world is even close to being primarily based on racism.
Honestly, if the girl weren’t so young and stressed and working in fast food (GREASE OMFG!), she would probably not have nearly as much of a problem with acne, and would therefore have far fewer (if any) experiences like what is mentioned in the OP.
@OP:
There are people in this world who freak out about stupid things, and demean others for things they can’t control. I would suggest reducing your value of their opinion. You do have the power to decide whose opinion to value, and the criteria by which valid judgements of you, by others, may be made. If someone wants to judge you by something that isn’t fair, you don’t have to care about it, unless they force you. Most of the time, they can’t force you to care about what they think.
There are good people out there who would not give a single damn about whether or not you have acne. Yes it’s unsightly, yes some people might be turned off or grossed out or whatever, but acne content is not a valid judgement criteria, and not a good way to estimate the worth of a person, or determine whether that person is good. If i saw someone with an extreme acne problem, i would Think: “holy shit, that must be excruciating and embarrassing… and i’m sure they are aware, and don’t need any comments about it. I should pretend it’s not there, while interacting with them.”
I had REALLY bad acne in my youth, Doctor gave me these pills though which turned my lips WHITE! lol .. After being on them for a few years I’ve never had a single spot since.
I used-to love Quarter Pounder combo meals at McDonald’s, that was the #3 if I remember correctly. Of course, now a #3 will make fart all week. So, no more #3’s for me. :/
@OP – you’ve said you want me to leave and I respect that. I can see at this point you’re not prepared to listen to anything I’ve said. Best of luck to you.
The rest of you all can continue this discussion, But I only ever wanted to talk to the OP an since she doesn’t want to talk to me, ill leave, since my original point was never intended for anyone else. Thanks to those who provided logical and articulate arguments. I will continue to consider them.
I think you will all find that if there’s one thing we have learnt this week it’s that Camelot is no longer the force of old. He was beaten a long way out in the Prince of Wales Stakes. Mukhadram went clear in the home straight but Al Kazeem managed to run him down proving that his victory over Camelot in the Tatersall Gold Cup was no fluke. The Fugue took third which was a good run from her. Camelot found nothing and could do no better than fourth.
Full result:
1st Al Kazeem – J. Doyle/ R. Charlton (D J Deer)
2nd Mukhadram – Sheikh Hamdan Al Maktoum
3rd The Fugue – Lord Lloyd-Webber
Time 2m 3.06 (fast 2.54s)
that’s pure bullshit.
That’s what I thought. He came the closest to winning the triple crown since Nijinsky back in 70’s. Now look at him. He clocked a quicker time in winning the Derby than St Nicholas Abbey in the Coronation Stakes on the same day. For a 3 year old that’s pretty impressive. I don’t want to believe it but I think Camelot’s days are numbered.
@ clevername; Your comment reminds me of a Buddhist expression I heard once. “Words are only worth the value we assign them”. Or something like that.
There’s a shortage of horse racing news on this site. Its always nice to get updates on what’s happening in thaw equestrian community. *the* not thaw. This phone is very touchy.
People are shooting off fireworks here at 1:05 AM. No reason other than they can. I’m near a Native American outlet that sells booze, cigarettes & fireworks tax free & at discounted prices. Its kinda soothing watching inebriated individuals set off pyrotechnics.
In the 80’s you hadda be nice to restaurant employees or you got a booger in your burger.
Looks like there’s a pack of wolves at Becky’s dead horse now *pointing* the way the flashes illuminate the carcass is quite striking.
Too bad this post wasn’t about the Sopranos.