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Sick of being judged

by Painman

Yeah, I’m sick of being judged, judged wrongly all the time. I feel like every little thing I say gets people moving this way or the other. Its pretty shite if you can’t be honest in life and lets face it, the truth is sometimes a bad truth. Is it best to go through life lieing with  a front up? I think in some ways it probably is. I’m sick of looking for gold in a land of shit, but the truth is I’m just not particulaly content with my lot in this world of darkness. I look out the window, I walk down the street and I see alot of people but I just see no LIFE.  I think life really is found in chaos and disorder, this world is living testomy of how order is just blackness gone mad. never a new thing rising, yeah lets keep everything DOWN. yeah nice one!

Well, Just rambeling now.  I’m sick of being on the losing end of other peoples frailties,  I don’t think there mine. People see what they wanna see and people see what they don’t want to see in the way I don’t want them to see it. No mans an island as they say and I’m sick of being alone for all the wrong reasons. If I look for something positive all I get is disapointment, if I think I have something positive it soon turns negative on me. I think this life is about learning to live positively with the negative outcomes, its all it can be really until the day you finally find that jewell you’ve been searching for.


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joey732 6/4/2013 - 10:54 pm

Instead of looking for something positive, try to CREATE something positive.

Ps. Fuck people. As individuals we can do amazing things, but collectively we are one of the most disgusting things on this planet. It’s odd, but true. So fuck people.

Do what’s best for you.

Painman 6/4/2013 - 11:29 pm

@joey: .. looking/creating, same thing. you cant create anything positive with other people, if you do then that becomes ‘playing’ and we all know the stigma with that. I’ve been trying to create something positive externally in my life for years, the truth is alot of it depends on other people. You wanna create a band, you need other people. You wanna create a friendship you need another person. Yes Generally fuck people I agree, but the truth is you can’t live without having at least one or two good ones in your life, otherwise that becomes loneliness.

I do whats best for me, yeah, sometimes I don’t. But when I do its either a long term strategy or its something that also depends on another person, its just the way it is.

clevername 6/4/2013 - 11:29 pm

Life is about doing the best you can with what exists. Life is about choosing the best choice from those available. Aside from that, life isn’t “about” anything. It just Is.

For those who see through the illusions and beyond the veil… things are more difficult.

Most people “judge wrongly.” The idea is to learn to judge correctly… and then you can determine whether or not to value the incorrectly determined wrong-judgements of those who have not bothered to learn how to judge correctly.

Painman 6/4/2013 - 11:41 pm

I know what you’re saying clever but theres always a value when the majority in your life do something. simply because they’re the majority. when something happens again and again and again then its gonna bother you, right? Why do people EVER learn to judge rightly, when they are not on the losing end? they might be in reality, but if they don’t know that reality behind the illusion of their wrong judgement then that loss doesnt exist to them does it? I don’t know if my original post said clearly what I was meaning to say, I guess I’m just feeling frustrated that I go misunderstood alot and punished for TINY mistakes, its not a new thing its a very old thing. I need CHANGE and I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall. Eventually though I know its gonna break.

Smiling_Liar 6/5/2013 - 12:51 am

you gotta know that society is fucked up, right? well if you’re the slightest different from it, they judge u. trust me i learn from experience. what i learned is, if u try to stay positive, you will find the positive people and things you want and need. if they laugh at u for being different or by your mistakes, laugh at them because theyre all the same. dont think of what other people think, do what YOU wanna do. if people judge u for it, screw them. its ur life and you’re only human, you r not a god. if u wanna change, CHANGE ALREADY! dont listen to the world, listen to yourself and forget what other people think. if it makes you happy, then so be it.

clevername 6/5/2013 - 4:55 am

Oh i totally get it. It’s frustrating as hell, sometimes… but other times, i find myself completely devoid of care for what those wrong people think. The only reason i care at all, is because the majority has the power of mob-rule, and can therefore influence our surroundings in all the wrong ways, for all the wrong reasons, just because they think the same (often wrong) way about something.

It’s not about whether or not we’re “listening to them,” but whether “they” are able to impose their constructs upon us, obstruct our paths, divert our energy, impede our progress, delay or even neutralize our goals… through numbers alone. And they are. And that’s why it’s so frustrating. You can’t force anyone to be right. You can only offer them the chance to learn better. If they don’t want to know any better, and refuse to see that they are wrong, then don’t waste another single moment on them. Write them off as dead, as “just animals,” and move along toward your goals. Bypass them in every way possible. Subvert their incorrectness. Make them irrelevant. Whatever it takes.

Funny you emphasized the word “change.” I was pondering earlier today, and realized that “change” really isn’t what i need. “Change” is too ambiguous, and describes a condition that, ironically enough, can most effectively be satisfied by death. No, “change” is not accurate enough. What i need is Improvement; more specifically, i need a sustainable method of providing myself what i want/need (and sometimes those things overlap; quite often, actually, for me…)… so that i may perpetually and reliably affect my own “change,” in the direction that is worth working toward.

The majority tend to embrace the “appeal to popularity” and “argumentum ad nauseam,” as they most often rely on strength in numbers and repetition.

Overwhelm and persist. It’s a very effective combination, leaves few options for recourse, and almost antagonistically beckons retaliative escalation (easily angers you and makes you want to do something far worse in response).

Rather than dealing with such an arbitrary and widespread hassle, i’d much prefer to simply exist outside their realm of influence… but… how does one make a living, without herds of sheeple buying stuff or services?

This is the path of the exploitative opportunist; “the masses” are literally bred to be exploited. It’s all part of “the system,” whether or not it is an appealing thought. I personally find it somewhat foul… but look around, it’s blatantly obvious, in almost everything that can be observed.

All i can suggest is that when it feels like it’s too much, step back. Take your face out of the fire for a while, and center yourself. Being beside yourself with frustration isn’t going to benefit you at all. Learn to separate yourself from it, as much and as often as possible. I know it’s not a fair requirement for getting along in “their world,” but it is what it is. This is the world we got, and it is the way it is because of stuff that happened a long time ago. I know saying “just calm down” doesn’t really help, but… just calm down. lol. 🙂

I have an urge to recommend being “zen-like,” but… deep contemplation on Zen has revealed that it’s mostly about changing how you respond to what bothers you, since what bothers you won’t be changed. It’s basically willful inaction, due to lack of available effective measures for achieving corrections. In other words: when you can’t make things right, make them not matter… or “just calm down.”

I don’t think Zen is the answer. But there really might not be a better one.

Painman 6/5/2013 - 10:46 am

@smiling: who says I’m not a god? lol .. Its not so much ‘me’ that I wanna change its mostly my circumstances: on the sick benefit, no gf, living in my mums house, not much money etc .. it feels like its been going on forever and they all kinda lead to each other if you know what I mean. I really need some sort of ‘life lift’ but there really isnt that much I can do apart from heading towards my goals, which just arent coming that easily, and sometimes those goals are crushed by other peoples wrong judgement

@clever: you are clever arent you man! lol .. yep ‘influencing surroundings’ you got it in one! .. A change of improvement maybe I should of said, not just ANY change, but good change. I’ve been working towards it for what seems like an eternity and things just dont seem to budge, or they move into place very slowly, and tbh Patience is NOT one of my strongest qualities. Infact I’ve probably ruined many decent opportunities for the change I require in the past just because of my lack of patience. Considering I’ve had about a thousand lol nervous breakdowns in my time and I’ve just become kinda desperate for something good to happen in my life I think its understandable. I just get sick of the same old doors swinging shut, if you know what I mean?

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