My appointment is roughly 24 hours away and it will be the first time I’ve gone to a therapist/doctor – now I’m wondering: if I mention my recent failed attempt(s) and my true thoughts will they commit me to hospital? Â My attempt a week ago failed then two days later I was thwarted by a recently installed fence preventing me to simply hop into an exit.
The appointment is with a psychologist however, she works with a psychiatrist in the same office. Â Honestly, I’m not even sure how I’ll feel speaking to this individual even though she was quite comforting during the initial telephone call so given this, do I even bring it up? Â This may seem a silly question but I’m 43 and have Â never hired a shrink. Â My worst fear in this step is if I open up and discuss what I feel and what I have done that they’ll urge or in the worst case scenario take legal action to have me placed in hospital. Â I could not deal with that right now as 1) the financial burden arising from it would simply be too much 2) I’m actively seeking employment and while on benefits you *must* be available the entire week – hospitalisation would deduct benefits for that period of time which, I just can not afford 3) it would seem to me as just another typical way of me failing.
I have not reached for this sort of assistance so I owe it to myself to see where it leads after all, death is the final option … I still have this *one* remaining. Â If medication is suggested I’ll accept this as part of the option but, hospitalisation … this is just unacceptable.