About a week ago I found this site and decided to tell me story. There were some people who advised me to reconsider my suicide. The last couple of days I have been thinking, over thinking and rethinking the idea of taking my own life. And I have come to the conclusion that I will do it.
I know what it means to be death, there is no coming back or any way to reclaim your body. Iâ€™m calm about taking my own life because death, in my eyes, is a way to finally let everything rest.
â€œIt’s not suicide if you’re already dead insideâ€.
Before I finally leave this hellish and unfair world behind, I have decided to rewrite my goodbye letter. I took my old one and burned it. My new one is going to be a book. A book… really?Â Yes, a real well written book.
I see it as a way to finally be able to tell my entire story of the past years. From the moment I fell in love till my last day on earth.
I have chosen February 12th 2014 as my last day. Tomorrow I will resign from my job, so I can fully focus on my writing.Â Tomorrow Iâ€™ll start to count my days until the last days tick away. 200 days should be enough to write a book, I think.
Every couple of days I might post something on here about my progress. Having dyslexia wonâ€™t make the writing much easier but that wonâ€™t stop me.