Accompanying my girlfriend.

Mabye there is someone that can help you cope. Someone who can comfort you and show you ur not alone anymore. Right now you must feel as if your on your own, surrounded by people but like theres a glass wall between ye, mabye like your stuck underwater, detached from reality because she was your reality, you need someone to break that wall something to ground you.
Its good thats shes always on your mind, no ones saying to froget her and move on completely. You have to try and take comfort in her memory, in what she ment to you. Its always going to hurt and im not saying it wont but it would be easier to handle trying to live with her memory than dying in the jopes of mabye being reunited or whatever. Whats to say when we die thats all there is or reincarnation or whatever comes next, if you do kill yourselfs she dies too, you keep her alive in you, in your thoughts and actions theres a little bit thats her…

well the mental state being fucked up is a give in when we meet in a suicide forum. So you admit its help and not suicide that you want, you would prefer to get better not to die? thats probably the most important part to focous on, you want to get better. There was, and i think still is, an old gal on here, been here before me and thats been long enough who had fuck all help from every single psychologist she ever had and she had loads, no meds workd propper, half the docs were morons, the other half didnt work for her but eventually she found one. one doc out of god knows how many that got the combo of drugs and the right talks to help her, and shes doing way better now, what im saying is theres always hope man, as long as we fight there is hope, hell even when we give up theres always some small bit of hope that we cant get rid of, personally thats why i think so many people cant bring themselves to commit suicide, they still have hope, not that they are scared or weak.
Well dating is a ****, the right people and the right curcumstances can be a nightmare, mabye you should force yourself not to cancel after the first date. pick a girl, then pick her up and dont allow yourself to cancell after one or more dates, even if she isnt right for you itll help you get back into things, make you more comfortable, then who knows what.
Mabye its time to donate the cloths or whatever to charity or something? give them a new home? theres no need to throw out the pictures and memrobelia untill your fully ready man, you have all the time in the world but you need to make a start or youll be like this forever, i kick myself for saying such a cleiche but time heals all wounds. yours are very deep, prehaps more time is needed, everyone grievs differently.
I would be an athiest, hell most of the time i am but i decided that life is bad enough without a heigher purpose, guess i have to believe in something just to give myself comfort. death being the very end is probable but man… that means you no longer exsist, you destroy someone so caring, the world needs more people like you, not less! you have all of my time that you want if you will take it man, i only wish it was more valuable and could help somehow. just know man i aint giving up on you, i dont care if your minds set im going to try my best. and six months could be enough for someone else to make the break through that you need. sorry for the long reply, i finnaly got on computer instead of phone and tend to over write sometimes. would you tell us about her? if its not increadibly nosey of me, sometimes that can help.