Today I turned 18, im offically a adult and everyones acting like I should be over the moon and celebrating please tell me why I would celebrate a life i dont want? Hi im zara 18 as  of today I have severe social anxiety and by severe I mean I cant do anything with my life. I had to leave my final year of school have lost all friends have a abusive mother who laughs at my nonability to even leave the house. Ive been to several therapies and tried 4 medications but nothing tames the severity of my anxiety thats where depression and suicidal thoughts have become my reality. Ive had suicidal thoughts for about 2 months and in the last week they have become ideation and it has become apparent it is my fate. Ive gotten to the stage where ive written my suicide note, planned where and my method. Im not looking for sympathy simply other people to relate too that feel suicide is something that seems like the only option. Sorry im so negative thats what depression does hey.
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Hi, zara. Happy birthday ! This may be a “life I don’t want”, but, yikes, with all we have to endure in this life, we may as well *try* to make the occasional day (birthday, even) somewhat enjoyable, treating ourselves to a li’l something at least (?) … I really only ‘celebrated’ my 21st birthday… well, was rather ‘coaxed’ into ‘celebrating’ it by my neighbours (at the time… don’t ask about my current neighbours!); haven’t done that since…
I also do feel at times as if suicide is “the only option”.
I don’t know if you’ve posted on here before, but hopefully there will be people you can interact with, and share some of your experiences (/your circumstances), and make some progress in reducing your ‘social anxiety’. It can take a while to find the right something (medication and / or form of therapy) that significantly alleviates psychological distress…
Best of luck. I do hope you have a good day.
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I turned 21 this year. It’s not a big deal to me, but looking at the world and what they make of it really fucks me off. Very few people knew of this so very few people inquired about it. There are some people who a few months ago I regarded as friends. But I know they’re fucking useless because they’ve known me for more than 5 years and never bothered to find out about my 21st, and they always make big deals of everyone’s birthdays. I think maybe its because I disappeared completely, but what are you supposed to do, run after them like a horny ***** begging to be communicated with if they stop realizing you’re still here? Yes motherfuckers I’m still here. I’m still here. I’m still here. I’m still here.