I’m out on the beach, and it’s really crowded. There’s at least 3 feet of space between myself and other beach bums. It’s really hot and sticky out there. There’s not a single cloud in the sky, besides a few swipes and swirls of cloud matter here and there. My hair is a knotty and matted mess from the sea water and all of the wind, and I’m trying my best to relax and let go of all the tension in my head. It’s hard to though, because not only am I uncomfortable in my black bathing suit, but I have a sort of paranoia about the ones around me. It’s hard to explain, and I have no energy to even try.
Blackout. I stare into the far distance of the vast abyss of salty water, and it’s like everything and everyone around me disappears. The ocean calls my name. I get up off the sandy towel, and walk slowly to the coming and going water. I submerge myself and struggle against the strong force of the waves as I try to go out further into this thing called the ocean. As each wave approaches, I take my thumb and forefinger to close my nostrils, and I dive under. It makes me feel like a super cool surfer person sometimes, or either a penguin, for some reason.
Each time I dive under, I can feel the waves above brush my skin. It feels so good and cool, I almost want to stay under longer than I’m able. I’m too scared to do such a thing, so I continue to float, dive, and struggle in this huge pool of nothingness. Life is harsh in the ocean, I’m sure. No doubt it’s survival of the fittest, but at least it’s simple. Survive or die, period. The human world is shit compared to that, and I would much rather be part of the animal kingdom. I wish I could travel into the depths of the ocean somehow. I bet it’s so beautiful down there, like a heaven. I wish I could see it someday.
I’m just floating, diving, struggling in this huge pool of the unknown. I wish there was such a thing as a savior, but then again, he/she would end up abusing their power, like always. There’s never going to be such a thing as a fairytale, heaven, or perfect ending. Something will always get in the way, and I’ll continue to float, dive, and struggle.