In 2011, I started praying for a meteor to hit the Earth so that the human race would be erased from universal history.
I’ve since then gotten more angry- for what should probably be obvious reasons. Although I am sure people don’t understand, because most people do not understand honey boo boo plots – they are simply too advanced. hmm where should I begin here?
I was born on September 11th, 1986. Well, maybe I should have taken it as a sign and offed myself on the day I turned 15 or whatever.
Well, I could begin by talking about a father whom I didn’t know because he was a rich doctor who was never home and we lived in a miami mansion until I was five or so. We had Ferrari’s and Porsches and BMWs and Mercedes until I was 17, so I never understood any differently. When I was 7 there was a divorce, not that I cared – I had no idea what the fuck was going on and I really didn’t “know” my father anyway, all I know is congratulations you are now man of the house. “Thanks dad for giving me your job” – apparently what I said, don’t remember. Anyway, he leaves me with a oxycotin abusing piece of shit that lives off exorbitant amounts of alimony and child support so she can continue living the good life. Never had to work a day in her life, but raising me was such a goddamn challenge because I was just so awful. I mean, I was always an introvert who had no friends and played nintendo 64 because thats all the interaction I got. She would slam the door and threaten to kill m e, slam dishes around, tell me my father had herpes and didn’t want to stick around. Oh yeah, there was one live in disaster figure that was supposed to be a “father” or some fucked up shit that became all about money and having to hear about her money woes. What a fucking laugh. Anyway, so I turn 17 and go off to college, since I didn’t do too bad in school or get arrested or beat her in the face with a hanger like she wanted to frame me doing because I was just such a piece of shit, and the father (who I had the fun of going on fancy trips with to france with a hooker girlfriend that ended up carving fuck you in his front door and told me to fuck myself on the trip when I was like 13, anyway) he shows up with the birth giver vaginal canal that I crawled out of who of course threw the 43,352 nd fit and I had had enough – I was an adult now goddamnit. So I was supposed to take her to the airport so she could fly the fuck back home and I didn’t. I didn’t talk to her for a few years.
So now I have no social skills at this point (still dont, Ive just perfected not having any by now) and Im 18 at this point living in a nice bunkbed with a dorm mate. Of course that was a blast – but at least I was out of the state that I hated so much (Texas). So I found my first years of college quite hard, and had no clue what the hell I wanted to do (still dont). I changed majors a few times, changed colleges- fairly normal. Then I got into this lovely battle with this dyke biologist who told me I was going to fail – lip ring dyke. I left the class and she failed me. So I had to go through a legal battle for six months removing something and finally ended up winning – except now I really had no will to go to school anymore after all the fights accumulated up to this point. So I dropped out, the girlfriend I had at the time couldn’t deal with the depression at that point and left me of course. Strangely enough I continued on with school (it was that or get cut off from the gracious millionaire who had apparently not been hurting anyway since my college had been saved for since I was born and paid for but anyway- continued on and started doing better) then millionaire herpie sperm donor said it was just too expensive to live out of state and I had to go back to my favorite one. Fear and control forced me and another girl who I was with at that time to come back to the place I said I’d never set foot in again. Anyway enrolled in a college here, we broke up because this girl couldn’t deal with the depression either and went back to her state. Nothing too horrible here. This was when my life was still wonderful.
Then I met my wife – who I didn’t know would be at this point, I just wanted out of school. I ended up graduating cum laude with a bachelor’s of business administration in economics in the ripe year of 2009. And let me tell you, the timing couldn’t have been better. Still, in this weird multi dependency between my grandmother who would buy groceries for me and begged me to have a relationship with the gold digging vaginal canal who I fell out of (who had ended up after the alimony quit, living my grandparents until she found enough guys to fuck she finally found the right guy to fuck – happens to be yes you guessed it – a rich railway president and got to live the great life again and ended up selling her life insurance that was in my name for fancy artwork and redoing kitchen fund) I know this is a runnon, but so is my life. Anyway, she wanted me to be in a relationship with her of course, even though she knew how bad it was growing up with it, and they had gotten an attorne y to gain custody of me because of the abuse, but anyway there was a sudden change of heart. The future wife didnt know how confuckuluated it was so she suggested that I at least try.
So I did. Then my future wife at this point got to meet her. Due to the lovely economy, which is truly wonderful, I went into graduate school at this point, and wonderful birth giver said I should be an electrician (irony is coming soon), anyway. So I asked her how I was to have the time to go to trade school while I was in masters program for quantitative finance. She said I’d figure it out because she had to back in the early 80s or whatever.
None of this makes any sense does it? Nope, not an ounce. But anyway future wife saw how birth giver was trying to turn her against me and saying how hard I was to raise (behind closed doors naturally) so she finally came to the conclusion herself and apologized to me. I was afterall the cause of my mother’s slipped disks and back problems in this imaginary side story. Anyway, I mostly cut off the birth giver side of the “family” just long enough so I could continue getting groceries from her birth giver (who when she met my wife, tried to set me up in front of her with the 18 year old girl who lived across the street) but anyway (anyway is my favorite word when describing my life)
So I end up graduating graduate school and earn my master of science in quantitative finance (more “prestigious” lol than an MBA) with a 3.84 average or some shit like that whatever, in 2011. And frantically, who I explained to sperm donor on numerous events the economy wasn’t coming back but this was the greatest country in the world. So after I was right, he never admitted it of course, he was even trying to find me a job. Luckily, he found a nice sales job out of texas in which I had to pass my series 7 and 66 exams – which I did of course because im such a piece of shit. the caveat was I had to be controlled by him even more and longer. so I went out there and door knocked and people who were being foreclosed on and quit because I knew I couldn’t sell shit in this economy, nobody has anything. Then I had to move back to you guessed it TEEEEEXXXXXAAAAASSSSS. Before I had left for this venture, I had completely cut off the birth giver side of the family because in my mind, I was just about to hit the big time L O FUCKING L
This was so I could be with my future wife. I had made the mistake to go back and get yet more education before I figured it out – there absolutely, positively, was no future in anything financial or economic based in this goddamn mother fucking piece of shit ass fucking fuckity fuck fuck fucking fuck of a nation, and I dropped out. I then got engaged and eventually told my father who asked me why I cant just live with her. I havent spoken to him since.
This whole time Ive been living out a bedroom in my lovely mother in laws house with my wife. Eventually I had to get a job, but I started learning as much as I could about everything. And I did. I learned welding, electronics, computer programming and how to build computers, I learned how to animate, build websites, alternative energy, and things like this. I used all the good credit I had built up and purposefully maxed them out so I could learn everything on my own – and did. But I still couldn’t earn a dime, so I took a lovely job with the electrician’s union where I got to work with the nicest rednecks and mexicans who wanted me out, and managed to do so. Fucking ironic huh? Anyway, so I spent the last nine months building my own company and built a website and trying to find investors. My uncle (non directly related) is the only one in the “family” I have any contact with who supports me in what I am doing. We are living on unemployment, food stamps, a mother in law who feels entitled because she too used to be a rich woman and now all day long makes matters worse by talking about the one and only thing I could never do – which was make money (yet more irony fit for a dark comedy or tragic novella)
took a welding job and built an entire kitchen and granite showroom by myself for a fuckface who told me I would have a warehouse position for umpteen grand a year and when I was done building it fucked me off. Was going to night school for welding and couldn’t get financing any longer because of my other degrees mean im not qualified to get a school loan (not that I would have paid it)
Anyway, got in a dispute with the mother in law today over throwing out some board games that she hadnt seen in 10 years and during this 6,800 frame animation im doing for my company I decided I have just simply lost the will to live.
I have studdied the quickest death possible and know the parts of the brain well enough to know which ones to pierce, but sadly you guessed it (cant afford to buy a gun) and I also cant afford to go get help and the free help wont be free and this fucking obamacare is now a tax just to be alive. So go fuck yourselves!
So I told my wife, I have simply lost the will to live or do anything anymore, its been 20 years of consistent lows and I really just dont have that drive even to get revenge with success. So I have decided to either stop eating and drinking or go out into the wilderness and build a cob house out of sand, mud, straw, and water and steal a book on what plants to eat and just get away from all humanoid sentient life. Call it a case of cabin fever for a year and a half.
Im just sad that the meteor didnt hit in 2012, I was going to go steal a pina coloda and sing koombaya as it rolled in with a smile ear to ear on my fucking worthless ass peon face- at least the illuminati and the rothschilds and queen of england would all have to go to their underground bunker and live for 70 years before emerging with nothing.
So fuck everybody, I really really believe I can go live in the wilderness, and be happy if I can figure it out but at least get some fucking excitement for once outside of disappointment and loss. I will get out of this god forsaken state once and for all and go where I really want to go, and be free of family and money forever.
I am not interested in the “mysteries” or religion or other manmade shit, in fact I hate it because it is the very reason why the economy sucks. No, but I do believe that I wasn’t supposed to be born like in the butterfly effect alternate ending – like I was just an anomaly in space time like donnie darko. Ive wondered if this is just a rigged game designed to see how long someone takes to drift into insanity like a social experiment for which I have not yet been paid and no confetti has dropped for surviving like the truman show. Ive wondered if its my shit ass attitude about the whole thing envokes some death spiral of which I cannot escape and other humanoids automatically wish for me to die, but alas I cannot figure the fucking thing out. I just have realized that as long as I exist in this society the more I will lose and the more others will have scorn and contempt on me being born.
Which is fucked up from the beginning, because sperm donor and birthing canal had to copulate some time in 1985, I had to unwillfully come into this existence. How fucked is that?
Anyway I thought about it and I could only come up with one human being who had it worse than I have, go watch Monster with charlize theron. That is literally how far I had to go.
There is millions of more hours of material all you sick and loathing depressed people can laugh at, I just dont remember all of it because my perital lobes are filled with misery and have literally run out of synapses to store more information, simply put, me and my “genius” needs to figure out how I can shove my head in my ass and eat myself from within so I can literally implode and become a black hole. For then I can suck in all of you and make you feel my pain at a point of singularity – you know what they say misery loves company.
my username for unemployment was meteor2012