I don’t care about anything

What’s the point? I hate everything. I hate being a teen, and I don’t want to go through whatever bullshit comes my way in life. It’s just going to be full of people who have no sympathy for you and just laugh at your misfortunes. I frustrate people to the point to where they want to just disappear when they listen to my problems. No one can get anywhere with me. I was even called “typically close-minded” today. I always thought I was better than that. I always think most of the poem “Richard Cory” perfectly describes me:

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,

We people on the pavement looked at him:

He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked; 
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
‘Good-morning,’ and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich – yes, richer than a king –
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

I’m no king, but I definitely feel like I’m hiding behind a mask outside the home. Everyone thinks I’m this happy, easygoing person who likes to have fun, when the truth is that most of the time, I’d rather be dead. I don’t enjoy high school, and have yet to meet someone who does/did. You can barely develop as a person, since you either conform to whatever is considered cool, or no one pays attention to you. I don’t want to go through anymore suffering, and I certainly don’t want to add misery or sadness to anymore lives. I’m always worried I will never be happy, and then realize one day, that it’s too late to change anything. :'(