Like I never thought I’d be the one to be suicidal but I can’t stand my reality and the thoughts I have. It’s really really agonizing and frustrating. Like I think of things that shouldn’t even matter. Like why am I human and why do I have to be human and see other humans all the time. Like humans are stupid and weird. I like weird but its unexplainable. I just feel very very repulsed as a human. I can’t stand it, makes me wanna kill myself everyday but I don’t cause I gotta live for my family and boyfriend. I also can’t take it that the world is completely pointless and everything we do is pointless. I just wanna drink and smoke myself to death. I’m tired of living. I just wanna rot and decay into nothingness. Like no one else has a problem with having doing things and never asking why. Maybe this is all stupid but I’m just very very very repulsed and aggravated ughhhhhhhhhhhh.
Please don’t be offended guys. It’s just how I feel.