I need to know that something in me is still striving for an existence. I need to know that all of me has not given up hope. I feel as though I am drowning in a sea of no emotion, and will soon be so overcome with boilng rage, that I will begin to hurt others. I fear for what is in my mind. I fear for how I will turn out. I tell myself that things will get better because I want so badly to believe it so. I want to believe so badly that things will be okay, and it will all work out, but there is no hope. And I know that. There is no hope for my future and I have nothing in my life to look forward to. I feel nothing throughout all of my days. I have come to the conclusion that this is due to the fact that I thought I would be dead by now. I have no means. That is my only issue. I have everything planned out and a well-constructed timeline of how I could do it. I just need a way. I don’t want to slit my wrists because the likelihood that it will work is so slim that it is not even worth the attempt. I would hang myself if it wasn’t for these damned low ceilings. I just don’t want it anymore. Anything. I wish like hell that I could give however much time I have left to someone that really wants it. And I try to maintain hope, because I know there are people out there who are happy. They exist. But there is a world of miserable people, and I don’t want to live to see myself become another one of them. I will find the means. I don’t know how. But I will find them. I just have to try harder.
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I know how you feel endingtheagony. It sucks not having a way out of this hell. My best bet is bridge jumping and I don’t even know if my bridge is high enough(185 ft. into water). I never asked to brought into this shitty existence. I just want to take my revenge on the assholes that are responsible for bringing me this misery. I’m a peaceful person though so I don’t really have it in me to be violent unless I’m defending myself. I really wish an asteroid would just hit Earth and put us all out of our misery.
I just want a way out. That’s it. I need one so badly.
being disabled I am trapped as well, longing to end my life but really not having a means of doing so. It’s torture. I am trying so hard in my mind to come up with something I could do. If I had a gun, I could end things quickly. It’s devastating not to have options like that. I have only two options: one would be strangulation and the other jumping (which could only occur if I was in hospital on a high floor). I get myself very deeply depressed looking at obituaries, seeing people younger than me listed, and heart breaks because it wasn’t my turn. It’s senseless, healthy young people dying in car accidents whilst bedriddens’ like me who can hardly be called “living” continue to exist for ghastly lengths of time. It’s common in the severely disabled community to live for 40 or more years and yet the only actual life we have is in our dreams. Like tupacorbiggie said, I wish an asteroid would hit us.
I think someone should just start handing out guns. Like an ice cream truck… But deadlier.
We need suicide clinics where you can donate organs if you wish. Life is so fucking dumb and pointless.
And, I mean. It isn’t like that for everyone. I do believe that some people can be happy. I just don’t feel like things are going to improve for me.
I love the idea of suicide clinics. We all win. Those who can use our organs get them. And we get to exit and be at peace. It makes so much sense!
No one would ever go for it, though. I think it’s a great idea. Maybe someday…
There is no fucking way the USA would allow a suicide clinic…..think about all the money pharmaceutical companies lose if their main customers just can say fuck it and pay 1 time for a one time thing rather than keep buying bullshit medication that doesnt work? Trillions. I wish there was a suicide clinic I would be in line hours before it opened ready to sign whatever form and get this shit done
One can always hope, however. It won’t happen… Ever. But I’m going to lie to myself in hope that it will.
Something about your words got to me, because I felt the same way. I would love to talk to you one-on-one, email me at marlene.j.salvatore@gmail.com when you can
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” That’s the truth! God loves you and sent His Son to die for you and everyone so that you can go to Heaven someday. Like think about if I had a son and someone I didn’t know could live if my son died for them but it was my choice to send him. I don’t know if I could do that myself but that’s the kind of love God has for you! Guys I know it ges really hard. Even my life but hey God loves you. “For whosoever shall call upon the name of The Lord shall be saved.” Romans 10:13 and you don’t have go through your trials alone. God is there if you cry out to Him. Ask Him to save you from hell and forgive you from your sins take you to Heaven one day and for come into heart. If you do that you know you can have joy:).
If you want to txt txt me at 317-759-4810