Well, I haven’t been looking around much here, but I thought that if I write it down, I might have a better picture of my situation.
Basically, there’s nothing wrong with my life. I got a nice apt., a cat, a loving BF and a Â great family. Even job is OK.
Thing is – I just don’t want to live anymore, I have no interest in seeing what will happen next, no plan for kids/children, no interest in finding a new job or studying (have already pursued a Master’s degree). In short, I just don’t care anymore. I don’t see the point of all this, I’m not into “having high-times” or being fussy about something in particular, there’s value to my life, but there’s no reason for me to keep on wanting being here. I have had enough of trying, I’m not tempted by new things, am not intrigued by new experiences or anything, I’m not depressed nor melancholic, it’s just that really – I got this point of what life is, I have experienced enough and I’m good to go, to move forwards – to end this. I mean, why should I remain alive Â – to keep the ones who are closed to me happy?
Are not you fed up of this world sometimes? Are not you also thinking – do I really need to do this – find a new job, build a career, raise a family – and what for? Really? WHAT FOR? To bound to social rules? because everyone is doing so? Heck, who cares if I make it or not, but me? I should be the only one caring, and for a long long time now (years) I really don’t see the point of being alive. Had my parents were gone, I would have ended my life. (spare me “you are essential, you are loved, etc…” – I know these things).
Surely, I’ll have the courage soon enough.