So I don’t think my story has a happy ending, but at the very least I can’t realize it anymore. Thanks to my good friends/new band mates I guess I’m doing better. Let me explain, I am no longer suicidal, just bitter not that I realize it. I don’t know if turning to drugs was the right choice necessarily but being ripped out of my head makes things much easier to deal with. I don’t know, I still want to not exist but not being in my own mind makes it easier, and expressing through music gets my message out in a vague way that helps I suppose. I don’t know if I’ll ever be happy but I won’t ever be down. It’s almost like having no real emotion thanks to not being in a normal state of mind if that makes sense? I’m being reasonably responsible about it if that’s possible. It isn’t better, I’m still not happy like I was, but I can cope with life. I think that’s all I can ask for at this point.
“nothing is worth it but you’ll never know.”
1 comment
Coping is a hard thing to do. Don’t underestimate yourseld