This Post Will Be Relatively Different Then My Last, For It Is Not About Me, But About Ronan.
I Have Known Ronan For 2 Months. I Met Him On A Sight Called Imvu, And He Is The Closest Friend I Have, The Best Person I Have Ever Met On The Internet And The Best Person I Have Ever Met In General. No Doubt In My Mind That We Met By Fate, I Hadn’t Been On In Months, I Entered A Random Chat And He Came Into That Chat Shortly After. His Friend Summer Followed Him In And We Had Started Talking. After A Week We Had Become Quite Good Friends, Clicked Instantly. Ronan Had Been Telling Me How Long He Had Feelings For Summer And How He Cant Stand Seeing Her Boyfriend Treat Her The Way That He Does. Summer Told Me After How Long She Had Feelings For Ronan And She Doesn’t Really Know what To Do About Those Feelings. I Informed Her Of What Ronan Had Told Me – She Found Out Her Boyfriend Had A Fiance. Left Him, Told Ronan How He Felt And The Next Day They Were Together.
Since Then We’ve Come Closer. Alot Closer. We Have A Very Awkward And Hard To Explain Relationship That Anyone Else Would Think Is Just Mental, But It’s Somewhat Like We’re All In a Committed 3 Way Relationship. Ronan Introduces Me As His Second Girlfriend, Summer Introduces Me As Her Girlfriend, And We All Put Equil Amounts Of Effort To Make Eachother Happy Everyday. Ronan Just Recently Started Opening Up To Me, And With That I’ve Come To Notice That We’ve Had Vaguely Similar Life Traumas.
Ronan Lost His Sister Abby To Suicide. He Was In The House With Her But Had No Idea What She Was Planning On Doing. He Found Her And Ever Since Her Death He Has Both Blamed Himself, And Been Blamed By Others. The Day Of Her Funeral His Mother Stood Up And Told Him To Leave In Front Of Everyone. “You Don’t Deserve To Be Here” She Said. “You Let This Happen” She Continued To Say Until He Finally Stepped Away From The Funeral And Payed His Respects As They Left. His Father Isn’t In His Life And Since Abby Took Her Life His Mother, His Brother Bryan, And His Brother Grahm, Aren’t In His Life Either. His Brother Riley Is The Only One That Stuck Around.
Since Abby Died He Gets Phone Calls, Text Messages And Every Other Form Of Harassment From His Brothers, And Mother Telling Him It’s His Fault Abby Did What She Did. That He Could Have Stopped It If Only He Had Cared And That It Should Have Been Him. Infact Yesterday 7/3/13 And The Day Before 7/2/13 Have Been The Worst Two Days He’s Had In a Very Long Time. It’s Been Dramatically Hard On All Three Of Us.
Bryan Texted Him. “You’re Pathetic. You Really Think Telling Dad Is Going To Solve Anything? He’s Not Going To Do Shit To Help You. He’s As Useless As You Are. You And Dad Need To Stay The Fuck Away. You Are No Brother Of Mine And As Far As I’m concerned I Don’t Have A Father, You Got That? Nobody Wants You In This Family. You Have No Family, And you Never Will Again. It Should Have been You, Not Her. You Are Nothing To Us. Do You Get That?? Because I Don’t Think You Do. You Aren’t Welcome Here. You Show Up Within A Mile Of This House And We Will Kill You. Nobody Knows Why You’re Here, I Wish To God That You Had Been Successfull In Your Attempt. I Really Fucking Do. Why Don’t You Try Again? Nobody Will Miss You, When You Finally Decide To Do It Though. You Are Such A Failure You Can’t Even Kill yourself. You Think You Have The Privilege Of Living After What You Have Allowed To Happen? It Should Have Been You. You Should Be The One Dead. Better Off, Everyone Would Be Without A Doubt. Why Don’t You Just Make Up For It Now? Top Yourself Off Yea?” And So Forth. His Mother Then Proceed To Call Him Saying The Same Things.
Earlier That Week I Had Shared My Recent Struggles Of Cutting With Ronan, And He Had Those Thoughts In His Head. He Had Cut And Not Told Me About It. His Best Friend Johnny Had Found Out, Told Summer, And Of Course Summer Told Me. I Confronted Him About It And He Just Broke Down.. It Was Complete Torture To See Him That Way – But I Stayed Strong Under The Pressure And I Had Gotten Him To Smile. He Kept Saying “It Should Have Been Me. Not Her, Me.” I Got Him To Realize That No, It Shouldn’t Have Been Either Of Them. Witch Led To The Next Day – With The New Problems.
The Day Had Gone Well, Ronan Wasn’t So Upset, And Had Woken Up In A Good Mood. It Was About 8am His Time Wich Would Be 1am My Time, And He Had Randomly Left The Chat. He Texted Me Saying That Riley Had Fainted And Wont Wake Up. An Ambulance Was coming To Get Him. Summer Pulled Up As The Ambulance Got There And We Were All Flipping. When They Had Gotten To The Hospital They’d Come to Find That Riley Was In A Coma Due To Swelling In His Brain.
His Mom Then Told Him “You Can Leave Now, Not Like You’d Care To Stay” Ronan Being Tired Of It All Replied With “Give It a Rest Mum.” She Smacked Him In Front Of Everyone, He called Her A Stupid ***** And Walked Out. Bryan And Grahm Followed Him And Beat The Shit Out Of Him And He Completely Broke Down. Started Crying – Had A Panic Attack In Front Of Everyone. Summer Brought Him Home, Got Him Into Bed And When She Had Told Me what Happened I Was Hysterical.
I Made It A Priority To Make Ronan’s Day Go Well, And I Did Exactly That. And He Continuously Thanked Me For Doing So.
I’m Not Sure What The Point Of This Post Has Become But I’d Just Like To Say..
Ronana, People Tell Me I’m Too Nice, Too Caring, Too Compassionate. That My Heart Is The Size Of A Mountain, And With The shit I’ve Been Through They Can’t Come To Understand Why It Isn’t Cold And Shriveled Up Like A Raisin With Barbed Wire Around It. But You Just Apologize All The Time. Apologize For Needing Me To Be There For You. Constantly Ask Me Why I’m So Good To You, And Then Tell Me How Much It Means To You That I Am. It Makes Me Wake Up Every Day With A Good Start To Know That I Wake Up And Mean So Much To You. I Don’t Mind You Apologizing, But I Really Wish You Could Understand I Don’t Think Any Less Of You For Having Normal Human Emotions. You Tell Me All The Time How Pathetic You Feel And I Can Never Really Find The Right Words To Explain To You How Wrong Those Feelings Are. you Don’t Really Know How Much Of An Inspiration You Are To Me. I Look Back At Shit That Has Happened In My Life And Realize How Similar Some Of Those Things Are To Things You’ve Been Through Knowing Everything Is About 12x Worse When It Comes To You.. And I Know How Bad I Feel When I Think About It. I Can Only Imagine How You Feel Daily. For You To Still Be Here And Still Be As Loving And Amazing As You Are Just Gibes Me Another Reason To Care About Life. I Know I Help You I Just Never Realized How Much Until Now Really.Â Summer Was Talking To Me This Morning Telling Me About How Nobody Understands You And That It’s So Bloody Annoying, Because It’s Not that Hard If People Would Just Try Like I Do. I Can’t Tell You How Much I Love You Because I Just Can’t Think Of Anything Big Enough To Describe It. But You Are The Most Amazing Person I Have Ever Met Over The Internet, Or In General Really. Seriously I’ve Known You For 2 Months And I’m Closer To You Than I Am My Friends I’ve Known For 5 Years That I Can Actually See Daily. I’m So Glad You Came Into That Random Room That Day Because If You Hadn’t And Summer Wouldn’t Have Followed In, I Wouldn’t Have Met Either Of You. We’ve All Come Such A Long Way Since May, And You Have Helped Me So Much. I Couldn’t Ask For Better Friends. I Hope These Next Days Can Be Better For You And Things Can Start Looking Up, And If You See This Maybe This Will Help Your Day Off To A Good Start. I Love You So Much More Than I Could Ever Explain And It’s Just Crazy To Think That I Could Love Someone This Much, Let Alone Someone I’ve Never Met. You’ve Truely Changed My Life In So Many Ways And All For The Better. I Can’t Thank You Enough For All You’ve Done And Continue To Do For Me, And Allow Me To Do For You. You’re My Angel bby. Yo No Soy Nada Sin Ti, Mi Amor.
Thankyou For Reading And Allowing Me To Give You A Little Peek Into A Day In The Life Of Me, And The Bestest Friend Anyone Could Ever Ask For. Fair Wins – Anonymous.