They say it’s going to get better. It isn’t. People who say it’s better to be alone than have bad company, have never truly been alone. They Don’t know how much it hurts. It hurts so much, I just want to rip my skin off so I can stop feeling it. One day, when I stop being a coward, I will be able to do it, and I will finally have peace and all the pain will go away. Life is too ugly for me to bear. People are too mean and I’m too stupid to not believe their lies.
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Being alone isn’t all that bad. I have had stretches in life where I felt alone, but it always became better later 🙂
I’m trying too. I cut myself and it helps. I’ve found my pulse on my wrist. I just need the courage too. Why do we have to keep on living when it hurts this much?
I feel the same….
I cut to and I have cut on my major veins……. I felt so alive till I felt nothing. I know how you feel. I wish that I died that day but I didn’t. Everyone says it will get better but when will it? Im still alive today due to talking to people. Do I wish I died? Hell ya, but when I look back on that day I think about the futurre and about the people I could help. With everything im going thro now I can help a lot of people. I don’t want to be a stistic. I want to be myslef. Have to attempted sence then? Hell ya. Do I think I can’t do it anymore? Everyday. Do I wish I was died? Yes. Do I want to die? Yes. Do I want the pain to stop? Yes. Do I want my family htinking I hated them? No
I know Howie feels to be alone it’s horrible it hurt your heart Sooo much, it’s like your empty inside , but yet your heart hurts, I know how it feels at one point I had a best friend , and lose her, I was so lonely, extremely lonely, it took what little joy I had left in life and the rest of my began to crash down with it……I spent a year like this determined to keep living life to pay off my debt to my little brothers….but I complete lose my state at mind at school…..(if I didn’t I think I would have fully attempted suidcid way earlier than I did)…. I keep my state of mind by randomly talking to people about anything Dispite how much insulting they thrown out at me………..
After two years of playing off my loneliness like this I gain a bunch of people that call me their friend……and even one person that call me their best friend
See playing it off ,in public, for a while can lead you to be least lonely or you will realize that friendship is over rated
P.s. Dispite the fact that I have gain friends over the year that I will do anything for ….it. Hurts a lot knowing I don’t care for them , and do to my tallness I given up on alive life…….but….Dispite the fact that person(not romantic way ) that I connected with the most pushed me out of their life when I attempted sudicid , I am not as lonely, Dispite all of it………
I am happy about the future….you meet new people every day, ever day you have a new day chance to meet some one that connect with you….and even thougth you get rejected a lot ……and reject a lot of people that don’t feel that void…..one day you will meet that person that get you that you get them………lol you migth meet that type off person over and over again…..but you never know if you don’t push for the conversation ( fake it if it’s hard o talk to people, and if you don’t like leaving the house , get out more, maybe to a book store, best buy, convention ) don’t be nervouse …..
You will find that person, you may lose them , but that little time with is enougth to keep you happy till you find some one that will stay
P.s again….hobbies help you lonelyness …….I like anime….a lot
“Your too stupid to not believe the lies of others” ..does that mean you do believe the lies of others?
I’ve said the exact same words you’ve said..wanting to have the courage to kill myself and die until one day I had to admit to myself that I wasn’t really affraid of dying at all. I was afraid of living cuz it’s so much harder, and so much harder to face myself over the thought of ending it. No it doesn’t get better or easier but you can be stronger and a solder in your own right. Fight to stay alive with a true purpose. And don’t ever give up on your own life.
It truly is amazing how much your body wants you to live even when your mental state doesn’t want to. I know when I had my suicide attempt I went to my boyfriends house instead of just sitting on the side of the road. Why did I go to my boyfriends house? I guess because deep down I wanted to live. And sometimes I believe that still. And sometimes it is really hard to believe that. But what I do know is that since my attempt last year I have had some great things happen in my life. Yeah I actually did have a really bad weekend… and I will always have some hard times. But everyone does. We gotta fight through it together I guess.
Email me if needed.
brl.cents@gmail.com
I can be a friend.