Why not now, Cant it all just be over..

I have been trying to get out of this body for years specifically from the age of 7 to 20 (current age)

I have tried suicide multiple times including cutting my wrist and taking loads of tylenol around 200 and then drowned that with hydrogen proxide but I did not leave, I did not even cross over. I mean what the fuck this was one I was around 16 and I am 20 now still wishing to just cross over but I realize now my family would be very sad and down the very same path that I have always seeked.

The only coping mechanism I really have is either doing some drugs as always, or scamming for profit and its pretty sad.

I just want this to be over. I know there is good on the other side, It is there I can feel it here and there. I just want to be back from once I came because that begining will just be the same in the end. Why in the world did I even chose this life to live…..

I should have stayed from once we came..