An unnoticed scream

Bare with me, I don’t do this kind of thing a lot. Ever, really. I’m 15, female. I started cutting when I was 12. My mom and older brother were fighting all the time, not like arguing either, like throwing chairs at each other. He hit her and made threats. I didn’t feel safe. He pushed me around a little but nothing major. My mom was also mostly living with her abusive boyfriend at the time, staying at his house with his family. I hated that. She left me home with my Bi-Polar drugged out father and younger brother, whom I basically raised. After several months a classmate told her about the cutting. I went to 4 therapy sessions and that was that. I kept cutting. At age 15, this past February, I stole some of my dads pills, went to the park, took them, and tried to hang myself. Someone saw me and called my mom, she picked me up. I slept off the pills and she took me to 2 therapy sessions. The day after the suicide attempt she made a joke about it. I didn’t think it was funny… I’m still cutting, and I want to kill myself. Am I just an attention whore? She doesn’t seem to care at all. Nobody does. I don’t feel like I have anybody in the world. I feel alone. I feel empty. I no longer really feel any emotion. I can’t.