I fear that I might be alone on this one. I’m losing the one I love, and my hands are tied. Our love seems to be drifting further and further away as each day passes. She says she loves me, but her actions speak otherwise. She can’t get a job, not because places aren’t hiring, but for the simple reason that she has stopped looking. I cannot support both of us, and due to the economy, most couples have to work together in this area if they are to survive, let alone thrive. She is not independent, nor does she make any effort to become so; I mean what happens when I’m gone? Will she simply cling to another, sucking them dry as she normally does (and not in a good way), or will she simply become a leech on the side of America’s ever weakening side as do many who are able to suck it up, and just work for what they get? I am perplexed on what it is that I should do, for I still love her, but I cannot afford to. At this rate, we won’t marry, we can’t move in together, and there is nothing else we can do. My hand is forced, but is there another way? This is one problem a bullet in my brain will not solve.
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Hey there,
I felt the same as you over the past year. My girlfriend and I moved in together. I had a great job but she was not working and ended up dropping out of school. This caused stress and I had to leave my great job. Suddenly I was in trouble financially. This caused a lot of fights and a low sex drive. Last week while away for a few months to visit her mother, she dumped me.
I felt devastated. But you know, maybe it was for the best. She couldn’t hold up her end of the relationship. Do I really want to be with someone who has put me through hell, contributed to me losing my job, my health and my sanity? No, I don’t. Then again I don’t want to be alone either. I miss having someone more than I miss having her in particular. I thought I loved her more than anything. Much how I think you feel about your girlfriend. But I can tell you that if she doesn’t change it will ruin not just your relationship but your own life in general. Write out the pros and cons of your relationship, think hard about it and then make a decision about what you need to do. The one thing that made me get over my ex quickly when I thought I was going to be in despair forever? Online dating. It will boost your confidence. Working out also helps.
You are not alone.
I’m glad to know that I am not the only one with this issue. However, I don’t know if it’ll have a good outcome. There’s a 98% chance that she would never leave me, unless I cheat on her of course, but that goes against ever fiber of my being. I also doubt that I could do the leaving, because I dread being alone, yet I like it at the same time. It gets complicated, but anywho, thank you for the good advice. I have a lot to think about.
No, you are not alone. And I’m glad to know you feel that a bullet won’t solve the problem, because it won’t. I don’t know your whole story and I don’t know how old you are but I’m in a similar situation.
In short.. I met my lady 5 years ago on a chat site. We kept that relationship going for 3 and a half years till I finally got her to come live with me and start our lives together.
She is younger and doesn’t do much, isn’t motivated to cook or even learn to drive. I struggle to keep us even eating. My mom has to pay my rent sometimes still. All she wants to do is go to college and I’d do anything to make sure she reaches her goals. But I am running out of time, and my spine is getting worse every day. I wish she would just help me out more, in any way really. I just need help.
But you are obviously the strong one, like me. People cling to the strong, it doesn’t mean they are always being a parasite purposely, doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you.
My lady says she loves me so often that it’s like he’s just saying it out of reflex, but really she has very few ways to express it beyond showing some affection. I really just need a responsible partner in this life, who can take care of me as equal as I do for them.
But we are the strong. This is our test in life. We are the providers.
Even is it doesn’t work out, I hope you can keep your head up and if you find a way to talk openly about it with her more, without shutting each other down..I hope you both can help each other through the harder moments you share together.
Keep sharing your thoughts please, they will help a lot of us here through our own ordeals.
And good luck.
*she’s