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At a loss of words

by sunflower

i dont know what to think. i really dont know what to say. i just am completely shocked. i thought i was going crazy. i dont know why im sobbing right now. i just thought maybe one of us got out of it ok. maybe im the reason for it. i dont know how fine you were when we werent together but now that we have been better you feel the need to come back on here. i dont want to be the reason for anyones suffering. i dont want you to follow the path of drugs, alcohol, self harm, suicide, mental hospitals. i want happiness, success, love, and freedom for you.

 

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9 comments

AtTheEnd 8/1/2013 - 3:39 pm

Now i feel bad for making you feel bad for fining that out about the person, but I know that you would have wanted to know. You aren’t the kind of person who wants to pretend the people she cares about are better when they’re strugglig. Just wish it didn’t hurt you so much.

sunflower 8/1/2013 - 3:50 pm

i wouldve found out eventually but thank you really. this isnt about me at all i just am in shock thats all. i just dont understand why good people have to suffer so much. it just is cruel

AtTheEnd 8/1/2013 - 3:52 pm

I wonder the same thing when i read your posts. Well. Now you know she misses you and you miss her. I don’t mean hanging out. I mean you BOTH want to be close again and should help each other.

sunflower 8/1/2013 - 4:05 pm

but see its not that simple. you dont understand, i dont really understand. you cant force someone to open up to you if they dont want to. i clearly affect her in a negative way when we open up to each other. i feel like im not good enough of a person. i promised her i wouldnt talk to her about shit anymore…

AtTheEnd 8/1/2013 - 4:12 pm

Well then i guess theres no hope. I told her to fix things if she wanted to be closer with you again. She’s gonna have to speak first then. Yes I know you can’t force someone. If your pain didnt affect her then obviously she wouldn’t care about you…..if you can be okay when someone you care about suffers…well i guess the person doesnt give a fuck. She seems to give a fuck.

sunflower 8/1/2013 - 4:29 pm

yea… :/

AtTheEnd 8/1/2013 - 4:33 pm

I meant it in a nice way :L and and just e joy her. You will have fun in college.

sunflower 8/1/2013 - 4:38 pm

hopefully it works out… i think itll be good to start over. no one will know me.

AtTheEnd 8/1/2013 - 4:49 pm

Fun πŸ™‚ just be. I dunno do what you want haha

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