Why do I have to be so awkward around new people? I don’t really care what they think of me. I wish I would still say, “I don’t care what they think of me.” But I do… And that’s what sucks the most. I get told that I’m funny, but I feel like a fool. I feel as though I’m going though more than half my life in a daze not knowing what to do or say. Ugh, hell I don’t even know what to say now as I’m writing this.  And I can’t even give a presentation without having a panic attack or choking on my own words. I hate being judged and told what to do, I hate when someone tells me that I’m wrong or cant do anything, because it makes me feel worthless. but I know I’m not, and the people around me care… or at least I think they do… I’m not sure. I need to stop being like this, but I can’t.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
6 comments
Sounds like you’re the one judging you the most?
Stop looking at everything you do and criticizing. just go with the flow. Some will like you and some won’t, that’s life and you can’t change it no matter how perfect you think you need to be. Accept you for you and decide that’s good enough…I’m sure those around you think that’s good enough…so why shouldn’t you. 🙂
Eh, maybe. I do over think things a lot its just that, I don’t notice it.. I know I’ll never be perfect and I don’t want to be, I’m fine with me. It’s just that I still have trouble accepting that part of me that makes me scared. Scared of speaking my mind< I know that line is over used but it's true in my case I don't really speak unless I'm talking to friends or when needed. And if I talk to much I lose my voice..
I tell people that i learned all my social behaviour patterns from the family dog.. It gives me a great excuse to snarl and bark…
Tho i do feel like i have to get used to people before i feel comfortable around them.
Do you feel ill at ease even when you’re around friends with 1 new person? I found that familiar settings (ie, where i work) and with people I know put me more at ease.. tho i still suck at public speaking.
Even if I have friends around if it’s like one new person and my friends I’m fine. But if I am in a crowded room and I have 5-7 friends in there I will become speechless. I hate having to stand in fount of people and having to talk, I feel judged and as if I’m being watched, even if I know no one is even looking at me in the room.
Try to test your limits. It’s probably much more productive to deal with issues head on but.. the hell with that. Find out where your comfort zones are.. A quiet club with friends.. etc find the limits of your mental quirks and try to work around them.
I’m pretty self conscious but when my friends finally pulled me out dancing.. i could lose myself in a crowd and have a great time.. But it took a while before i started to relax.. not that i’ve been dancing in a while
a bit of alcohol would help me relax a bit but.. that’s never really the best kind of crutch.
You’ve got to learn to stop judging yourself so harshly -alone-, once you learn that, no one else can hurt you. Ourselves are our biggest enemies.