Sometimes I just try to be positive.
Igrew up in a- well, not poor, but not wealthy- family. So by the way every single problem was money.
Our father left us, I have a sister that has cerebral palsy,
and well there are maaaaany negative things in my life, i went through horrible stories in my life and things that i just heard out from my mom and everything
I don’t have real friends, I mean, no one tries to hear me, cause they think that im crazy, even my boyfriend sometimes he just doesnt want to hear me or something, i think he thinks that everything that is on my mind is just a quick depression or something. He can count on me everytime, I mean.. most of the people that come to me (from 2 to 3 friends..) can count on me, but i think they just see me like a weird person that will not care.
I hate everything! I just tried to not to cry every night and try to be positive and even when I have a real great day my depression comes every night and I cant handle it.. I feel like a great stupid useless thing. No one ever tried to say something cute to me. And if they did, i dont think they meant it. Just by compromise. I sometimes think that Iwill never fit in.
I have been thinking about suicide, but I don’t have the willpower to do it, I mean, im scared, i know that there are lots of opportunities in life but i just want to disappear i dont want to hear people’s voices, i dont want to see anymore people ..
Its the most stupid way to face problems, but it’s the easier..
And, who cares if it is the most stupid way!?
You just did it and cant do anything in reverse to it!
But again.. i dont have the willpower to do it.