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I’ll never do it!

by RosieLeighGreen

Today I attended the funeral of a family friend, she was 22 years young and she had taken her own life on the 8th of august. I didn’t know her very well, but anyone could see she was very naturally beautiful with a contagious smile and an infectious laugh.
She was well known and well loved by so many people, all I’ve heard is how amazing she is, how she was free-spirited, selfless, caring and kind. I heard how much she loved people, music and how devoted she was to her family and friends.
I heard she was a beautiful, bubbly, spiritual and loving young girl with everything to live for. I heard all of these lovely things and found myself feeling heartbroken wondering why someone so nice and loving felt like she couldn’t live in this cruel world anymore.
I felt heartbroken because she wasn’t here to see or hear all the people who loved her and thought the world of her coming together to celebrate the girl that thoroughly and geniunley enriched so many lives.

During the service I looked around, and the largest cathedral in the UK was full. Full of family and friends from all walks of life, and it was hard not to feel touched by it all. Her sister and two best friends spoke at the service, their tributes were heartwarming as they were long, I was beside myself as a single balloon floated to the top of the cathedral and hovered over the room full of people.
I’m not big on the whole spiritual thing but even I must say you could feel her in there with all of us.

Today saved me, she’s an inspiration, a force of nature and now I have hope in my heart. Although this was such a heartbreaking and tragic thing, even in death she continues to inspire and touch the hearts of people around her. She’s made me realize that there is nothing but love, nothing inbetween love and nothing to stop you from loving people. She’s inspired me to always have love in my heart and others in my thoughts.
Until today, I thought the world was a bad place full of bad people, but seeing such a beautiful soul take her own life had made me understand how my negativity was making my world a bad place. I feel that perhaps if people could have bought the beauty to her world that she bought to everyone elses then maybe this tragedy would not have happened and even if it did, the world would still be better off with just a handful of people like her.
May she rest in the peace she was looking for!

6 comments
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6 comments

ifoundmeandyou 8/22/2013 - 10:51 pm

*tear rolls down cheek* not being sarcastic. I’m sorry. I feel it.

RosieLeighGreen 8/22/2013 - 11:09 pm

That’s what she’s left us all, the ability to see and feel the beauty in the world.

theforgottenfew 8/23/2013 - 1:59 am

That’s so beautiful. I’m sure she would be happy to know she saved at least one person.

wallawalla 8/23/2013 - 4:34 am

not everyone is what they seem. perhaps she was being abused at home. perhaps she had terminal cancer. you can’t know. clearly she was suffering.
this is not a popular thing to say, but I never feel sorry for the ‘survivors’ of suicide. it is those who take their own life who we should feel sorry for; they were the ones who were truly suffering. although we may be sad that they are no longer with us, usually it is not enough to drive us to take our own lives.

RosieLeighGreen 8/23/2013 - 7:31 am

There will be more that she’ll save, she was all about helping people 🙂

RosieLeighGreen 8/23/2013 - 7:38 am

She wrote in her suicide note why, she wrote what she wanted at her funeral and wrote of how she never meant to hurt anybody with her decision. I disagree with you though, her father is a very close friend of ours and seeing how heartbroken and devestated he is, my heart truly goes out to him, its like you can see and feel the pain in his heart, his worlds been taken from him, how could you not feel sympathy for him? You”d have to be very hard hearted!

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