I’m Broken

I’ve memorized most of these. I posted them, instead of just their lyrics and explanations of my interpretations of them, because i figured most people haven’t memorized them, and some may not have ever heard them… and i find these particularly useful in conveying certain feelings that i often struggle to explain.

All of these are part of how i feel, part of “who i am.”

The ironic part is that i didn’t actually listen to any of them during the process of creating this post. I heard some bits, but mostly just read the lyrics. It started out as just wanting to post the first one (i’m broken), but then it became more. They’re all connected.

People have been talking a lot about “how others will feel, if and when” lately… “I’m Broken” is quite relevant.

“I wonder if we’ll smile in our coffins while loved ones mourn the day in the absence of our face, living, laughing, eyes awake… is this too much for them to take? Too young for one’s conclusion, the lifestyle one; such values you taught your son… That’s how… Look at me now… I’m broken.”

I’ve been playing a lot of GTA 4 lately, and allowing myself exposure to songs on the hilarious radio channels within the game… quite a few of which are triggering… but there’s plenty of suggestive themes, plot, and simulated killing, to offset the stupid sadness from the music.

That game is… upsetting, but most surprisingly, upsetting in a “beautiful” way. It presents as if it is supposed to be satirical hyperbole, as if it’s making fun of real life by exaggerating… but honestly, it’s not exaggerating that much, in the way it represents the game world. Sure, the action and much of the plot is quite extreme… but the game world itself just reminds me of how wretched the real world really is. And yet, the game still manages to come off as humorous, even while conveying that same real-world-disgust that real life gives me. In this aspect, i have to call it “brilliant,” though the performance is dismal, even on my more-than-adequate machine. And i freaking love Niko’s voice/accent (the main/player character). I think my ideal woman would have to be fluent in English, but speak it with a Russian accent. Or at least be capable of a decent russian-english impression. lol.

Rambleramblerambleramble…