My own feeling is mostly unclear.
I contemplate everything with the clearest mind yet I can’t figure out what it is that triggers these thoughts. I have no reasons as to why I believe that the grass is greener on the other side of the ground for me. I have no tragedy’s to face, no pain to feel and no place to be. So why do I feel this way? Why do I always feel plagued with just stopping it? I look at life for what it is. I look at death and see it for what its deemed. I contemplate both with the clearest of minds and neither really appeals to me. And by what right do I have to write this? I see all these people, whether it be in the news or just on my street, they deal with so much pain. Such struggle and such troubles yet they are still here. They carry on. They have some sort of drive that I’ve never experienced. Why don’t they feel the way I do? I feel pathetic at times knowing these people can carry on yet I’m considerate of putting myself away without facing any turmoil. There are so many thoughts a wash in my mind spilling dangerously close to the plughole and I can’t help feel they are the most rational I have.
We are all going to die. So why are we forced to live. I just wanna go. Sorry.
your depressed, so am i, you dont need to have some horrid thing happen to be depressed and ur lucky most likly u just have the blues that will pass but not for me no i need to go get ECT and i am scared out of my mind about it.
I wish all the best for you, its easier said than done I know but just try not to worry about it!
Sometimes we don’t go through terrible tragedy on the outside, but how you feel on the inside should not be minimized. You’re obviously going through a lot to be here. Are you bored a lot? I’ve found boredom is kind of the worst and people going through extreme turmoil on the outside hardly leaves time for boredom. But being depressed and not having anyone leaves plenty of time for boredom, hence wanting to kill yourself.
I know what you mean I’ve been in the position where I’m laying bored for days on end and I feel my mind playing up and questioning everything which is probably one of the reasons why I started feeling this way quite a while ago but its not like that now. I’ve been half-way through college, through jobs and found that it makes these thoughts come on much more strongly as its so dead-end. So monotamous and I just don’t want it. It leads me to sit and wonder about life. And about death. And I guess neither of them rather appeal to me.