I’ve had it

First day of school and I’m already overwhelmed with stress and anger. My sister gets to enjoy over a month more of vacation before she leaves for college while I’m stuck having to deal with term paper, US History and Pre Calculus. What am I going to do after she’s gone? It’s not like we can Skype every single day. I’m just told to be happy for her. This is not what I had in mind for my junior year. All of my fun classes are out, including study hall. The whole reason I wanted those classes was to help make this year less stressful, but I have to use the schedule I have so I can get into college. I’ve had it with all of this work, stress, and worry. I’m also tired of being dependent on my parents and being under 18, always having to deal with restrictions? Everyone thinks that most of your interests are just phases, and that you’re confused half the time. I’ve basically come to the conclusion that when you’re a kid, you’re just told about all the great things in life, but that you can’t have them yet. Where’s the fun in not being able to go wherever you want when you want? Where’s the fun in being inexperienced and unaware? Where’s the fun in having to not be yourself in order to make others at school happy? What about me? I guess my feelings just don’t matter enough. I’m told all this depression will go away eventually, but I want it gone NOW. This year hasn’t really been that good for me, overall. It’s been uneventful and dull. Other than getting my license, it’s been pretty unfulfilling. I’m tired of disappointing years. 2010 was pretty bad, but 2011 was just senseless. 2012 was pretty average, and 2013 is a little worse than average. Suicide is basically the only answer since there’s no other way out of it. The only thing holding me back is fear of the pain and of not being successful at it.