So last night was completely shitty. As usual I went on a website where I have a fair few friends, and started talking. But, something seemed off about this particular friend, so I told her. She’d said that she was acting like it because she didn’t want me to kill myself [ I had told her of my plan a couple days prior to this and also had the date on my profile for my other friends to see ].
I explained that I was hurting and didn’t know what else to do, to which she replied with she ‘didn’t care’ and said she ‘shouldn’t have become friends and got attached’.
Now,Â that hurt. A lot. Soon after I ended up in tears because I thought she hated me and never wanted to speak again. After an hour or so, Â I returned back to the laptop where I saw new comments from people asking me about my set date and telling me not to do it. I can tell you, that was the guiltiest I felt in a long time.
I assured them all that I’d think about it, which they have [ hopefully ] believed. ?However, I must admit that it’s a lie. My mind is made up. I’m going.