I never understood anorexia…I always thought ‘why would you ever give up food to be skinny when you already are?’.
Now I understand. I haven’t eaten a proper meal in days, and I still feel fat. Every time I look in the mirror I see it everywhere, I see nothing but fat. I feel so guilty when I eat and when I do I cut as if to punish myself.
I don’t know what lead me to see or feel this way. I simply woke up and couldn’t stand my reflection or the plate of food in front me. I’ve tried eating and talking it out with my friend, but nothing is working. I like feeling hungry and just looking at food makes me sick. My friends don’t understand, just like I didn’t a few weeks ago. They just keep telling me to just eat and get over it. I wish it was that easy.
3 comments
It’s not that easy. A couple of years ago, a friend of mine was struggling with an eating disorder. All the time, people would demand that simply eating would solve the problem. Eating wasn’t the magical solution. Getting some help turned out to be a better solution. Maybe there is someone you can turn to or who could help you?
I agree with the previous person who commented, usually it is getting the help you need rather than just someone saying, eat. I have not had a disorder for eating, but came very close a few years ago. People just said, it would make me weak, or whatever and I said it wasn’t that easy. Often I would try to vomit it all up, but soon I realized that if people found out, I wouldn’t be able to live with others knowing. Like you, my friends did not understand. I had to just force myself to eat. It wasn’t easy, and I’m not expecting that it will be at all easy for you, but perhaps professional help will do you some good.
You can email me. I know you have it saved somewhere, but here it is again.
brl.cents@gmail.com
I just read this. Sorry to hear you have this issue.
I have some kind of eating disorder too. I don’t see myself as fat because I’m simply not..I’m very skinny. And if I didn’t try so hard I’d be nothing but skin and bones. But people still describe me that way.
My problem is that I can’t gain weight past 135lbs average. If that doesnt sound bad check this.. i dont even weigh that much now. im maybe 123lbs right now. i can gain the weight back but only for a short time. I lose an average of 4lbs everyday if I don’t maintain 4 or 5 meals and snack sessions per day. Doesn’t matter what I do, and believe me I’ve tried everything from protein mix to supplements to even just gorging on junk food and eating anything fattening with no exercise. Now that I’m 31 I’m convinced that its an eating disorder of some kind. I still get hungry often and sometimes I’m starving when I get home from work. But then a lot of times, Some times I forget to eat when I’m stressed..I can go all day and not think of food. I have to force myself to eat sometimes. Like yesterday I only ate lunch and a couple snacks but no dinner. It’s almost lunch time and I still haven’t eaten since yesterday. I really wish I knew what my problem really is. It’s like I want to give up sometimes and just eat when I feel like it cuz I never seem to gain any weight anyways, it’s hopeless.
Sorry for ranting on your post! lol