i am quiet, this is no new thing but when i am quiet, i think of hurtful things.
mother says she loves me but how should i know it be true? father claims it too but i don’t know how to believe it’s all true.
i am forever alone in this dark head of mine, left to rot and watch this decaying world as everyone pretends it’s all ok.
i hurt myself to protect all of whom i love, if i did not i would hurt them, feel their bones break under foot, watch blood drip from their finger tips and spill onto me, with the glorious shades of red, i seem harmless sometimes, maybe a bit of not knowing my own strength at the best of times, i am a bad little girl but i am not little anymore.
i, i can’t do it anymore the constant taunt of the devil and his ways, he places them in my head and i see it all glamorous so i romanticize it all and fall to my bed upon rocks and glass shards, i have made my bed so i shall sleep in it and it’s pointy bits but little do most know…..i really do enjoy it.
i will leave this world by my hands, to how i am not sure yet, ODing sounds fun but the blood lust is strong so slicing open my throat or wrists would deliver a sinister smile on my face and i shall be gone forever.
4 comments
Im sorry that they dont give you the love you need. Do you want to talk about it?
it’s kinda my fault they don’t, i block them out, only because they make me with everything they do, i am pretty sure its still my fault though.
send me an email if u wanna talk about it supsuckah @ yahoo . ca
The first step is to realize it is NOT your fault. Thinking in terms of fault is not the starting point. Can you look at yourself, observe yourself, WITHOUT judgment? This is the first step. My email is also open any time….
jefferywissman @ gmail . com