So…Hi
I’ve had some big and stressful issues happen lately in my family, and I’ve completely blocked myself from everyone so really I don’t have anyone to talk it and I’ve been diagnosed with depression and bad anxiety. I thought I could rely on my friends to support me, but instead they just said “Sorry” for forcing me to tell them what’s wrong and never spoke about it again. I went to a school counsellor because I didn’t want my mum knowing I was like this because she would just blame me and say that I was being dramatic. Anyways, they gave up on me, so once again I had no one. It got to the stage where I had myself to talk to and that’s it. I have extremely bad anxiety/panic attacks and instead of people helping me, they would mock me, laugh and just stare at me… I know I act tough, I act like nothing will ever bring me down, but I know myself I am weak.
I have been planning on this for a while, At first I wasn’t really caring on the pain that happened, as long as I died. My first option was Bleach, considering it would definitely kill me. Then I was researching, and wanted to somehow get my hands on Hydrogen Cyanide gas or Potassium Cyanide salts, but realised I couldn’t. I am 100% on killing myself soon, and Its really the only thing I want to do. Everyday hurts more and I just cant be bothered being apart of society and their ways. I don’t even know what’s the point of this post but mainly I just want advice of how or when to do it really…
6 comments
You are righting this cos you want to be heard….
Anyway, I’m fascinated by how much people put effort in to suicide… I mean you could bring down a mountain with that much effort….
So, why bother with suicide….
I care too much about the people around me and what my family will get when I do it.
Band I couldn’t care less about my abusive family….
And yes, if you’re family loves you, they will not recover from you’re choice to die……
So don’t do it….
Peace….
I looked into those methods you stated as well. I’m pretty set on hanging though. Wow that’s the first time I’ve ever said that … anywhere. Feels weird. But if you get it the right drop length, it’ll snap your spine and you die almost immediately. Asphyxiation takes a little longer 10-15 min, maybe longer. But yeah that’s my choice. Hope you find reason to live. Keep in mind, if you’re going through external rough times, these feelings may pass. My problems are pretty self-created at this point so I don’t think there’s hope for me any longer.
I was like this even before everything happened, and I guess I’m just weak and can be bothered anymore