Trust is a powerful word and most don’t even realize it but i learned through to many experiences that no one in this world can be 100% trusted. I trusted a group of people from a small town i used to live in and look where that got me…it ended up with me getting bullied day in and day out i trusted every girlfriend i have ever had and look ive been cheated on and used or the bullshit brake up lines like ” its not you its me ” and always over text or by Facebook. I know that their are other people in this world who have it a hell of a lot worse then me but im thinking about me and my shit life right now like the current situation im in with witnessing my parents splitting up all because my mother is a damn harlot and fucked up everything like my family was already in the poor house you know like bankrupt and shit but now a hell of a lot worse. A 25 years of marriage my mother cheats on my dad hell i didn’t trust people before this but i always thought i would end up with a family of my own but now i don’t think i could ever be in a relationship without thinking of this situation.Since my mother left life in my house has become more diffrcult to live in like my relationship with my sisters has become even more worse like the youngest one is basiclly the spawn of satin.Once a month i get cash from the goverment because of my disabillitys but i have to keep it secret from the youngest because she is the only who talks to my slut of a mom and if my mom found out she would stop paying childsport. I havent had a smoke in almost 5 months because smokeing calmed me down but right now i want a smoke more then ever hell i might even start to smoke weed. I hate my life right now like i havent even had sex in almost a year now and i havent even had a girlfriend in over a year i dont know if its subconsciously i miss morgan and lucy or i just wanna be hurt again. sometimes i wonder if death would be better but i know im to much of a coward to go through with it. Death is a part of life it happens to all of us but i honestly i wish for mine though. i try to pray to god i ask everytime for help but help never comes i try to go to church but i cant get myself to do it. i cant trust anyone now not even myself….we all walk death row…we all get to the chair…i cant wait until its my turn.