When i got back from my gospel camp i felt “new” in a way i felt good inside everything was turning around then the “shit hit the fan”. About a few weeks from being back my little sister went to Seattle for her round up band thing and my mother is a volunteer for this band. turns out my mom met some guy who is another volunteer with the round up band and now my parents are splitting up and that’s just one of the things that making me stress out hardcore. If any of you have read my other posts you would have noticed that i talk about this girl Morgan a lot well i thought i finally got over her i thought that i would never see her again but since i apologized for being a total asshole after she left me we start talking and it just so happens that she is moving the exact same city i live in. Now im starting to develop those feelings i had for her all over again and believe me when i say that i want Morgan because i do truly love her but i know she has none of these feelings for me. One of my best friends said that i just pick the wrong women in-fact she called my most recent ex a “cake face” but i know deep down in what was once a heart that i love he. Another big stress issue is that i cant find a full time job right now like i have a part time job but i need money to help pay the bills seeing how my mother is now refusing to pay child support so we are just barley getting by with bills and food money im still on the hunt for a job but personally i think that i have to get this other stress off my back before i can work any where because my mind would always be else where. The word trust is defined as “Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something” how can i ever truly trust another person again like i trusted my mother and look what happened i trusted Morgan with my heart and look what happened i only truly trust one person on this world and that’s my best friend Kiro. Kiro and i have been best friends since we were 4 years old he takes care of me when im down he actually is more concerned about my health then i am and that is funny. how can i have another girlfriend if i cant trust her how can i have a wife if i cant trust her i try and trust people but i end up getting fucked over in the end hell im considering going back to smoking like im already drinking when ever i have the money. With all of this shit going on in my life right now i feel like just wanting to end it all but in the end i just don’t know what to do anymore. Life is about a controlled society and that involves rules and i broke my rule ” TRUST NO ONE ‘ SUSPECT EVERYONE.
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2 comments
It’s really hard to enter or maintain a relationship if there is little to no trust. The trust situation is something you probably want to focus some efforts on. I walked in similar shoes… and came to the conclusion that general distrust wasn’t helping me.
The economy is tough right now. There are lots of people out there, some with significant education, who are unemployed are under-employed. The best you can do is keep looking. If need be, accept something that will help you get by until the economy improves. Although employers don’t like job-hoppers, there is nothing that says you have to stay at a job the rest of your life.
Rethink your “SUSPECT EVERYONE” tagline… That isn’t your friend.
Broke your one rule Batman would not approve. That’s not to make light of your situation I learned that all rules have to bent and trust me(no pun intended) I understand not trusting anyone. It’s not a bad policy however, you do have to make exceptions. When you do make exceptions make sure the person has earned it. Even that isn’t foolproof as things still fall apart. It’s tough but you have to focus on making sure you’re trusting the right people for the right reasons.