wristcutters.

hello blog.

this is my first post.

i struggle with anxiety and major depression.

i’m not sure how to cope with anything. my parents misraised me and i have no friends.

everyone hates me and bullies me and thinks i should just kill myself, so why the fuck shouldn’t i..

all of my ex boyfriends said i was worthless and should.. so.. yeah..

nothing’s alright. i constantly feel the need to cut myself.

i constantly feel the need to tie a noose and hang myself.

i constantly feel the need to die. i’ve lost everything.

i don’t have a family, i don’t have friends.

my parents gave me up 7 months ago and made it official on fathers day.

people throw my stuff away at school, i’m called ugly, fat, stupid, dumb, slutty, whore, people shove me in the halls and threaten to pull out my extensions i wear to feel pretty..

people say i look like a zombie on meth.. i’ve thought about turning towards harder drugs..

i don’t care about myself honestly.

i know no one who reads this honestly really ACTUALLY cares about what i have to say.

my parents hit me, they never cared about me.

when i was 4 or 5 i tried to run away and was already trying to kill myself.

my mom had to nail the 2 story window shut because i was always up there thinking about jumping out..

they never listened to me, michael poured hot coffee on me and my brother.

he stood on us til we cried while “play-fighting”.

mike told me one day, not mad at all, he said we needed to talk and sat me down in my room and said, “if you commit suicide, i will have you cremated and i’ll throw the ashes into the nearest dumpster i fucking see.”

i lost the one i loved to my ex-bestfriend.

life just sucks man.

i have no money, no job, no car, no place of my own, i have literally nothing. i have one pair of pants for crying out fucking loud.

i just. wanna fucking end it.

i just wanna be fucking happy.