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every night

by quaero

Every night I lie down in bed and resolve that tonight I am not gonna sleep until i sort it all and find a way out. but within 15 minutes i fall asleep, and wake up next morning only to find that nothing is sorted and i will have to live another day in confusion and restlessness. I don’t know why I can’t accept the fact that there is no answer and all these are just excuses.

P.S. – I know there are people here who can’t get easy sleep. but as it is said – one doesn’t know the value of thing until its gone. so by the virtue of my ignorance i ask their forgiveness. I also know that people suffer from loneliness. I don’t know, but i seem to envy them. here in my house whole day there is some noise going on..people talking, creaking of gates. and in night when i get some silence and think that now i will clearly think about myself i fall asleep. so its like there are some who suffer from lack of time and there are some who suffer from over-abundance of time.
there is a ghazal in hindi: “kahin kisi ko mukammal jahan nahi milta”, which means nobody gets the world he wants.

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