I started thinking about the fact that I’m different. By that, I mean that I don’t have any friends at all, and I’m always alone. I’m antisocial because I never had any social skills, not even when I a kid, my mom literally needed to push me out of the house so I could go out and make friends. Making friends was always the hardest thing to do because I was affraid of people and I was affraid they wouldn’t like me. I don’t like people at all – I always have that one tought that everyone is stupid and boring. I also have a small amount of self-esteem and that’s because my dad always expected too much from me. He always said to me things like: “why can’t you be like all the other normal children? what are you going to make out of your life?” and a lot more things…and he was telling me those things when I was only 5 years old. It really hurted me and that gave me the feeling that I don’t fit in. Anywhere. That nobody likes me for who I am.
That is my reason I am writing this. I really don’t know what to do, my mom wouldn’t take me seriously and she also expects a lot from me. I’m affraid of telling this story to somebody other than my parents. I really really need help. Please.