Right now, I’m 20 hours away from the rest of my family and my friends. I’m taking online classes and getting new medication since I can’t get medication where I live.
It’s not very fun. I have therapy sessions every other day, doctor’s appointments, and I have my depression, paranoia, bipolarity, ptsd and ocd to deal with.
Guess what though? This is a vacation for me. When I go back to my school in November, the vacation’s over. When I go back, I have to plaster that smile back on my face. I’ll have to talk to my friends, pretend everything’s alright. It’s really exhausting to have to push everything deep down inside me and become a different person when I’m at school. I don’t like calling attention to myself , so when I’m around other people I put on the face everyone else wants to see. When I go home though, I look in the mirror and see the ugly truth behind all of the lies.
I’m not perfect, I’m a liar.