i honestly dont know what I’m doing, anytime i try and yes i fuckin try, i try for everyone , there’s even times i try for myself, i still come back to this place, wondering around the street last at night hoping to find something, that doesnt exist to take me to another world , or change my life forever.
I want a permeant change! i thought,  i was doing go for awhile till now my life is in my own hand,  and i’ve never been more afraid.I can’t manage my feeling i quit my medication and only pot manages my anixety sometimes,or makes it worse. I hate dealing with people and rejection, it can tear me down even though i know i am my own person. If only  drugs can make me escape and forget my feeling ,i dont wanna live
i dont want to become a drug addict, i wanna keep my body clean and pure, for me.
but honestly I’m just so lost, when nothing makes sense and you dont know where to go next, i feel i will start cutting again
now it must only be were no one can see, cause i know i wont kill myself
i dont have the guts, and i just want to be free