1. Avoid high school football
2. Join the Navy
3. College for various things/reasons, if #2 doesn’t kill me.
If #2 didn’t work out… Idk.
But i recently realized that i knew 20 years ago that i should probably just get it over with, rather than enduring a predictably miserable life, just to prove to everyone who expected otherwise, that their expectations were invalid and malformed. Which is ironic, because even now, after 20 years of proving them wrong, no one gets it but me. I often consider that perhaps my only remaining reason for living is to fuck shit up for whatever persons or systems fucked up so much shit for me. Doesn’t seem to be anything else both worthwhile and available.
Almost everything. Right now I can’t remember anything good that I did in 35 years. I would have chosen a different college. A different job. I would have loved different men – and I would have accepted the good men that I rejected. I would have controled better my impulses, my rage, my alcohol addiction. I would have had a different attitude toward life, people, towards myself. 99% of what I did I would have done differently.
But now it’s too late. I have to finish this life as soon as possible, probably in the next couple of days. What a tragic endless mistake my life has been!
If I could turn back time, I would’ve figure out how to change my avatar sooner.
If I could go back in time, I’d buy stock in Walmart, Apple, and Microsoft in the early 90’s, then buy stock in google maybe 10 years ago. Other winners: Ford was down to $1 per share in the mid 2000’s, and Priceline went from about a dollar a share to nearly $1,000 per share within a decade or so.
I’d invest in the dotcoms that burst in the late 90’s, but sell before they tanked, and invest my fortune in real estate before the housing bubble burst, then sell much of that around 2005-2006. I’m telling you, if anyone on this site has a time machine please contact me. We WILL make a billion + apiece.
@C4 I used to know someone with a time machine but I’m not sure what happened to him. At least, he always claimed to own one. You could never tell if he was being serious or not. Whatever. The guy in that movie ‘Safety Not Guaranteed’ built one, so I still have hope.
I was just standing outside thinking about this. Time is linear, right? What’s happened has already happened and the future is unknown. (In theory at least).
So if I had access to a time machine, and went back in time to change past events which would alter my present reality, how do I know I wouldn’t cause some sort of unplanned ripple effect which drastically changed the present in ways I never could have foreseen?
Maybe we’re not meant to have a time machine. Maybe we just have to “play the hand we’re dealt”. Even if we knew (or were fairly certain of) the outcome beforehand, there are still other variables in place that we have no control over. I suppose that’s what makes things interesting: not knowing how things are going to play out but doing your best with what you’ve got to work with.
@C4 You’re depressing me. I think I’m going to go hang out with The Doctor instead. He doesn’t care about all the philosophical implications of time travel.
The Doctor doesn’t interfere though, right? He let’s things play out the way they’re meant to.
By the way, who’s the read head? Yeow. I like those fiery Irish types. π
I have a $billion+ idea, but lack the skills to build it… and if i attempt to “hire” anyone with said skills, they will “steal” the idea. You can’t trust people.
I actually have lots of potentially extremely lucrative ideas… but when it comes to figuring out the requirements of constructing them, i realize that i would have to have an astronomical amount of drive, and LITERALLY do nothing else, until it’s finished… and i can’t do that, even if i “just decide” that i want to. And then it breaks down even further, into the realization that there is just too much for one person to do, especially if that person is me. Had i had access to the opportunity to become a hacker in my youth, and then the further opportunity to be amazing at it for 10+ years, i would be in the position to make a killing in this world. But, alas, i spent my time trying to get good at things i wanted, carefully selected from what was actually available, which didn’t include becoming a master hacker. The only things i’ve ever been good at, turned out to be things that didn’t matter: gaming, guitar, and caring about people. None of those things actually matter. All the stuff that actually matters, is too fucking hard, and you can’t get proper training for any of it unless you already have money to spend, and you can’t save enough money if you’re born into a family that things god is real, and that we should all just accept our lot in life, work hard and pretend the world doesn’t suck, and then die.
I think the big catalyst, the big turning point, for me, was the first time i smoked cannabis and realized: “wow… this is totally not evil at all; it’s actually quite wonderful!…” And then i proceeded to figure out just how much of “society” is actually total bullshit… and even further, why those constructs exist… and ultimately, that we cannot do anything about them, which means there is a very limited amount of enjoyment or meaningful accomplishment that can even possibly occur in my lifetime. I realized, but i was too young yet, to understand fully: it was never going to be possible for me to have “a nice life.” I was ready to go ~13 years ago… but i stopped myself at the last possible moment, and regrouped, and tried to find a better way. Honestly, i found lots of better ways… but due to external interference, i was never able to utilize any of them. Now, i am nearing the end of my ruined life, full of spite, contempt, disdain, for everything and everyone who ever stifled or impeded what technically very much could have been better, but was prevented from being so, by a bunch of fucking bullshit that i didn’t choose, and couldn’t change.
It would take a miracle for me to “accept the things i cannot change.” Miracles don’t exist, because there is no source to generate them.
The main problem is that i figured out that i needed to go against the grain, to get anything that was good… and the entire fucking world rallied against me, and prevented me from ever being anything worth being… except Aware, Conscious, and in possession of myself.
I belong to me. What i do or do not, is not up to anyone else. And yet, almost everyone i ever encountered, did something to obstruct my goals. The world has already “taken” my life from me. And they will blame and accuse and lament, when i take it back from them, reclaiming it for only myself, in what seems to be the only remaining option i have. I was not allowed to live how i determined and decided i should. People might continue to say i “took my life,” but it’s mine. It doesn’t belong to YOU. I have every right to take back what is mine, from those who have taken it from me, without my permission. No one has my permission to take or waste my time. I only give permission for sharing my time, to those i deem worthy, according to my own methods of judging that, based on criteria of my choosing. I don’t need to justify myself to anyone. I know i’m right, and i know others disagree, and i know many of them are liable to attempt to intervene with what i decide to do with my life, and if an aggressor encroaches upon me, i will react ruthlessly, mercilessly, because it is my right to do so, to decide what to do with my own life, do it, and destroy anything that attempts to obstruct my path or harm my being. That’s my right as a sentient being, regardless of any who may disagree, or how they may attempt to justify their invalid ownership of my life.
She’s actually not Irish, but yeah, she could pass for it here. Elena Satine, a Russian chick. She plays an escort, ‘Judi Silver,’ in that show Magic City. She’s pretty hot.
If I could turn back time I would turn back the time to a time when there was no time.
Build a time machine you say? No thanks. I think I’ll just wank off and go back to bed.
The “source” which generates miracles is you. You, the individual, are capable of making it happen, even though it is a longshot.
Even if you do shit that doesn’t make money, if you’re happy, doesn’t that mean you’re successful? My dream for the majority of my childhood was to be a pro surfer. I used to surf every single day for most of my teenage years, even though I knew it wasn’t financially lucrative. Eventually I “sold out” and got “a real job” and made decent money for awhile. Looking back on it now, the time I spent out in the water was way, way more memorable than the time I spent chasing money.
One of my favorite things that you’ve said, clevername, is that you want to “fuck shit up” before you leave. If that means doing your own thing without hurting others, then do it. You should! (Exclamation point added for dramatic emphasis). If you’re only going to die, why not fuck some shit up first?
That part about smoking weed: Some Xians believe that cannabis was “the tree of knowledge” in the Garden of Eden. It was the forbidden fruit that lifted the veil from Adam and Eve’s eyes and enabled them to see through the BS. They gained awareness, cognizance after sampling from that one tree in the garden which they’d been commanded not to partake from. Makes me wonder: Why would God put a “tree of knowledge” in the garden, then give his creations specific orders not to sample it’s fruit?
By the way, I actually read your whole comment. π Bbl.
You said some Christian believe. Who are these Christians that you speak of? Give me a reputable link to the source. And do these fools not know that cannabis does not grow on trees? And if anything was the forbidden fruit I’d lean more towards DMT, Shrooms or any other psychedelic. Hail Moses the gatekeeper to the land of magic mushrooms lol
Does DMT or ‘shrooms grow on trees? I think the “tree” of knowledge was metaphorical. Like everything else in the Bible, they were describing stuff to the best of their ability (after numerous, subsequent translations yielded us the current version of this “sacred text”). It might have been a shrub, who knows.
A reputable source for what Christians believe? hahaha. Which branch of Christianity are we referring to? How many different strain of Christianity are there from varying interpretations of the Bible? The only thing that all Christians have in common is that they’re all convinced they’re right, and anyone who disagrees with them is wrong. It doesn’t matter which flavor you align yourself with.
I’ve met some of those pro-cannabis Xians. I’ve heard a few bits of bibles which seem to indicate, to me, that people a very long time ago, knew that cannabis was good.
Also: cannabis /buds/ do, in fact, grow on trees; cannabis is basically a tree.
OTOH: i lean heavily toward the interpretation that the “tree of knowledge” was how Jesus figured out that he should warn people about psychological enslavement… which caused certain events, which lead to his original word being repurposed into exactly the opposite of what he was actually trying to say; what he actually died for, is actually much closer to the opposite of the message he actually intended to convey. The same system that had him killed, is the system responsible for most of what people today call “the bible.”
Jesus, in all likeliness, was probably a dude who got high and figured out that people suck, and tried to tell others “hey, you guys should do things differently, and watch out for those Romans!” He was a revolutionary figure… but not a deity.
Huh. So Jesus was a pothead? Makes sense. He had long hair, didn’t have a job, and mostly wandered around. Sounds like a hippy.
You heard it here first, folks.
depends if I have the knowledge I do now when I go back… I would likely change getting married….maybe… thats hard without that I would not have my kids… maybe Id have changed who I was what led to where I am now….the depression that changed my world
I would have found some way to kill myself in the womb. It’s the only thing that could have saved me from this terrible life. Or maybe by some superpowers I would go back in time and prevent my parents from getting married and making babies, because their genetic combination was so disasterous for me. Or better yet I’d go back in time and kill god so he couldn’t create this world and all of its devestation.
33 comments
I’d have killed myself as a toddler and saved myself years of bullshit…
Everything…..my life has been filled with regret and what could of been.My depression and anxiety has held me back from achieving many things in life.
1. Avoid high school football
2. Join the Navy
3. College for various things/reasons, if #2 doesn’t kill me.
If #2 didn’t work out… Idk.
But i recently realized that i knew 20 years ago that i should probably just get it over with, rather than enduring a predictably miserable life, just to prove to everyone who expected otherwise, that their expectations were invalid and malformed. Which is ironic, because even now, after 20 years of proving them wrong, no one gets it but me. I often consider that perhaps my only remaining reason for living is to fuck shit up for whatever persons or systems fucked up so much shit for me. Doesn’t seem to be anything else both worthwhile and available.
Almost everything. Right now I can’t remember anything good that I did in 35 years. I would have chosen a different college. A different job. I would have loved different men – and I would have accepted the good men that I rejected. I would have controled better my impulses, my rage, my alcohol addiction. I would have had a different attitude toward life, people, towards myself. 99% of what I did I would have done differently.
But now it’s too late. I have to finish this life as soon as possible, probably in the next couple of days. What a tragic endless mistake my life has been!
To all of the above, at least you friggin tried. Don’t knock yourselves for that.
id make sure i didn’t swim inside that fucking egg twenty years ago.
I don’t want to go back in time (unless it’s to visit a different era). I want to skip ahead in time to the part where I’m rich.
@procel…I think I’d like to change my answer to yours….
haha @pain, yeah im rather proud of it π
If I could turn back time, I would’ve figure out how to change my avatar sooner.
If I could go back in time, I’d buy stock in Walmart, Apple, and Microsoft in the early 90’s, then buy stock in google maybe 10 years ago. Other winners: Ford was down to $1 per share in the mid 2000’s, and Priceline went from about a dollar a share to nearly $1,000 per share within a decade or so.
I’d invest in the dotcoms that burst in the late 90’s, but sell before they tanked, and invest my fortune in real estate before the housing bubble burst, then sell much of that around 2005-2006. I’m telling you, if anyone on this site has a time machine please contact me. We WILL make a billion + apiece.
Buy more hats.
@C4 I used to know someone with a time machine but I’m not sure what happened to him. At least, he always claimed to own one. You could never tell if he was being serious or not. Whatever. The guy in that movie ‘Safety Not Guaranteed’ built one, so I still have hope.
Do a high five.. And say thank you universe..
I thought Einstein disproved the possibility of time travel?
I was just standing outside thinking about this. Time is linear, right? What’s happened has already happened and the future is unknown. (In theory at least).
So if I had access to a time machine, and went back in time to change past events which would alter my present reality, how do I know I wouldn’t cause some sort of unplanned ripple effect which drastically changed the present in ways I never could have foreseen?
Maybe we’re not meant to have a time machine. Maybe we just have to “play the hand we’re dealt”. Even if we knew (or were fairly certain of) the outcome beforehand, there are still other variables in place that we have no control over. I suppose that’s what makes things interesting: not knowing how things are going to play out but doing your best with what you’ve got to work with.
@ Procel; I don’t know.
@C4 You’re depressing me. I think I’m going to go hang out with The Doctor instead. He doesn’t care about all the philosophical implications of time travel.
The Doctor doesn’t interfere though, right? He let’s things play out the way they’re meant to.
By the way, who’s the read head? Yeow. I like those fiery Irish types. π
er *red head*
I have a $billion+ idea, but lack the skills to build it… and if i attempt to “hire” anyone with said skills, they will “steal” the idea. You can’t trust people.
I actually have lots of potentially extremely lucrative ideas… but when it comes to figuring out the requirements of constructing them, i realize that i would have to have an astronomical amount of drive, and LITERALLY do nothing else, until it’s finished… and i can’t do that, even if i “just decide” that i want to. And then it breaks down even further, into the realization that there is just too much for one person to do, especially if that person is me. Had i had access to the opportunity to become a hacker in my youth, and then the further opportunity to be amazing at it for 10+ years, i would be in the position to make a killing in this world. But, alas, i spent my time trying to get good at things i wanted, carefully selected from what was actually available, which didn’t include becoming a master hacker. The only things i’ve ever been good at, turned out to be things that didn’t matter: gaming, guitar, and caring about people. None of those things actually matter. All the stuff that actually matters, is too fucking hard, and you can’t get proper training for any of it unless you already have money to spend, and you can’t save enough money if you’re born into a family that things god is real, and that we should all just accept our lot in life, work hard and pretend the world doesn’t suck, and then die.
I think the big catalyst, the big turning point, for me, was the first time i smoked cannabis and realized: “wow… this is totally not evil at all; it’s actually quite wonderful!…” And then i proceeded to figure out just how much of “society” is actually total bullshit… and even further, why those constructs exist… and ultimately, that we cannot do anything about them, which means there is a very limited amount of enjoyment or meaningful accomplishment that can even possibly occur in my lifetime. I realized, but i was too young yet, to understand fully: it was never going to be possible for me to have “a nice life.” I was ready to go ~13 years ago… but i stopped myself at the last possible moment, and regrouped, and tried to find a better way. Honestly, i found lots of better ways… but due to external interference, i was never able to utilize any of them. Now, i am nearing the end of my ruined life, full of spite, contempt, disdain, for everything and everyone who ever stifled or impeded what technically very much could have been better, but was prevented from being so, by a bunch of fucking bullshit that i didn’t choose, and couldn’t change.
It would take a miracle for me to “accept the things i cannot change.” Miracles don’t exist, because there is no source to generate them.
The main problem is that i figured out that i needed to go against the grain, to get anything that was good… and the entire fucking world rallied against me, and prevented me from ever being anything worth being… except Aware, Conscious, and in possession of myself.
I belong to me. What i do or do not, is not up to anyone else. And yet, almost everyone i ever encountered, did something to obstruct my goals. The world has already “taken” my life from me. And they will blame and accuse and lament, when i take it back from them, reclaiming it for only myself, in what seems to be the only remaining option i have. I was not allowed to live how i determined and decided i should. People might continue to say i “took my life,” but it’s mine. It doesn’t belong to YOU. I have every right to take back what is mine, from those who have taken it from me, without my permission. No one has my permission to take or waste my time. I only give permission for sharing my time, to those i deem worthy, according to my own methods of judging that, based on criteria of my choosing. I don’t need to justify myself to anyone. I know i’m right, and i know others disagree, and i know many of them are liable to attempt to intervene with what i decide to do with my life, and if an aggressor encroaches upon me, i will react ruthlessly, mercilessly, because it is my right to do so, to decide what to do with my own life, do it, and destroy anything that attempts to obstruct my path or harm my being. That’s my right as a sentient being, regardless of any who may disagree, or how they may attempt to justify their invalid ownership of my life.
@C4 I suppose so.
She’s actually not Irish, but yeah, she could pass for it here. Elena Satine, a Russian chick. She plays an escort, ‘Judi Silver,’ in that show Magic City. She’s pretty hot.
If I could turn back time I would turn back the time to a time when there was no time.
Build a time machine you say? No thanks. I think I’ll just wank off and go back to bed.
The “source” which generates miracles is you. You, the individual, are capable of making it happen, even though it is a longshot.
Even if you do shit that doesn’t make money, if you’re happy, doesn’t that mean you’re successful? My dream for the majority of my childhood was to be a pro surfer. I used to surf every single day for most of my teenage years, even though I knew it wasn’t financially lucrative. Eventually I “sold out” and got “a real job” and made decent money for awhile. Looking back on it now, the time I spent out in the water was way, way more memorable than the time I spent chasing money.
One of my favorite things that you’ve said, clevername, is that you want to “fuck shit up” before you leave. If that means doing your own thing without hurting others, then do it. You should! (Exclamation point added for dramatic emphasis). If you’re only going to die, why not fuck some shit up first?
That part about smoking weed: Some Xians believe that cannabis was “the tree of knowledge” in the Garden of Eden. It was the forbidden fruit that lifted the veil from Adam and Eve’s eyes and enabled them to see through the BS. They gained awareness, cognizance after sampling from that one tree in the garden which they’d been commanded not to partake from. Makes me wonder: Why would God put a “tree of knowledge” in the garden, then give his creations specific orders not to sample it’s fruit?
By the way, I actually read your whole comment. π Bbl.
You said some Christian believe. Who are these Christians that you speak of? Give me a reputable link to the source. And do these fools not know that cannabis does not grow on trees? And if anything was the forbidden fruit I’d lean more towards DMT, Shrooms or any other psychedelic. Hail Moses the gatekeeper to the land of magic mushrooms lol
Does DMT or ‘shrooms grow on trees? I think the “tree” of knowledge was metaphorical. Like everything else in the Bible, they were describing stuff to the best of their ability (after numerous, subsequent translations yielded us the current version of this “sacred text”). It might have been a shrub, who knows.
A reputable source for what Christians believe? hahaha. Which branch of Christianity are we referring to? How many different strain of Christianity are there from varying interpretations of the Bible? The only thing that all Christians have in common is that they’re all convinced they’re right, and anyone who disagrees with them is wrong. It doesn’t matter which flavor you align yourself with.
I’ve met some of those pro-cannabis Xians. I’ve heard a few bits of bibles which seem to indicate, to me, that people a very long time ago, knew that cannabis was good.
Also: cannabis /buds/ do, in fact, grow on trees; cannabis is basically a tree.
OTOH: i lean heavily toward the interpretation that the “tree of knowledge” was how Jesus figured out that he should warn people about psychological enslavement… which caused certain events, which lead to his original word being repurposed into exactly the opposite of what he was actually trying to say; what he actually died for, is actually much closer to the opposite of the message he actually intended to convey. The same system that had him killed, is the system responsible for most of what people today call “the bible.”
Jesus, in all likeliness, was probably a dude who got high and figured out that people suck, and tried to tell others “hey, you guys should do things differently, and watch out for those Romans!” He was a revolutionary figure… but not a deity.
Huh. So Jesus was a pothead? Makes sense. He had long hair, didn’t have a job, and mostly wandered around. Sounds like a hippy.
You heard it here first, folks.
To have never been born …
depends if I have the knowledge I do now when I go back… I would likely change getting married….maybe… thats hard without that I would not have my kids… maybe Id have changed who I was what led to where I am now….the depression that changed my world
I would have found some way to kill myself in the womb. It’s the only thing that could have saved me from this terrible life. Or maybe by some superpowers I would go back in time and prevent my parents from getting married and making babies, because their genetic combination was so disasterous for me. Or better yet I’d go back in time and kill god so he couldn’t create this world and all of its devestation.
To never have discovered The Suicide Project (back in winter 2010). I should’ve killed myself then.
probably try to be less of a complete social shut in.
never start gaming and 4chin wouldve helped a bit i think
If i could turn back time.. I would have screamed for help..