Hey guys, I’m not dead..yet.

I don’t know if you guys remember me at all but I posted here fairly regularly several months ago then took a break.  My life still sucks though.  Since ******** is basically impossible to obtain I think it’s either a shotgun or hang myself.  I’d prefer a shotgun.  How are you guys doing?  I hope you’re doing better than me..  Suicidal thoughts have become so normal to me that they don’t even faze me anymore.  My thing is that I really don’t want to fail my attempt and end up a vegetable or end up in some institution against my will and lose whatever freedom I have left.  This existence really pisses me off.  It really makes me sad to know there’s so much suffering and injustice in the world.