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Honestly: my fucked up life

by virtus

So I decided to be completely honest right now about my life.

one of my friends is constantly attempting to commit suicide.

my entire group of friends is into cutting and marijuana.

my parents think I’m the good one.

my teachers think Im the smart kid.

my siblings want to be like me.

but I hate myself.

I want to die.

i can’t even tell my friends who cut that I do too because they depend on me to be the stable one in our group.

the one who isn’t fucked up.

i don’t know how much longer I can take it.

i just want to drive and drive and never look back.

honestly?

i feel like shit

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5 comments

lyssalookingforhelp 11/18/2013 - 6:07 pm

You don’t have to be the strong one in a group of friends if you don’t want to. Trying to be the one person holding your head above water can make you drown. I’ve been there and sometimes you have to take a moment to think about you. Even if you don’t think you should, forget about everyone else for a moment. What matters to you besides the friends you have to try and keep stable? Why can’t you rely on someone else?

virtus 11/18/2013 - 7:42 pm

My whole life is built around the image that I am the stable one. If i do something to change that by talking to someone, everything will change.

lyssalookingforhelp 11/18/2013 - 9:42 pm

You can talk to us. lyssalookingforhelp@outlook.com If you want to talk or vent or whatever. I understand and I’ll try to help.

SisterNicci 11/19/2013 - 10:14 am

I can definitely understand that feeling. I too was always the smart one, the one that everyone thought was stable, even though I was so much younger than them . And you can talk to us…we’re definitely here, all of us, for you.

virtus 11/20/2013 - 8:25 pm

Thanks ya’ll.

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