I love laughing. I laugh all the time. I laugh when Iâ€™m happy, but sometimes I laugh when Iâ€™m sad, too. I donâ€™t know why, I just know that laughing makes things hurt less.
I try to make everything seem like itâ€™s not a big deal, like itâ€™s all under control. In reality, I usually canâ€™t handle it though.
Iâ€™ve always been really good at school and sometimes that makes me feel guilty. I put in very little effort to get a 4.0.
I always have so much to say, but I lose the courage to say it because I donâ€™t want to sound ignorant.
Iâ€™m not like other 18 year olds. I have no interest in partying, drinking, drugs, or doing anything even slightly rebellious. I relate more to 30- 35 year olds. Sometimes I wish I was more like other people my age though.
I wish I could skip this stage of my life and move onto marriage and kids.
I have helped raise my nephew since he was born this April. He is one of the greatest blessings in my life.
I fear that I will never get married because no one will ever love my flaws.
I also fear that I shouldnâ€™t have kids because I donâ€™t know if I can raise emotionally stable kids. One of my biggest fears is having a child develop depression/anxiety/an eating disorder and knowing itâ€™s my fault.
I think about dying a lot. I really donâ€™t want to grow up and often feel as though I should kill myself now before things get even worse.
I have terrible trust issues.
Somedays I wake up and have this thought that I could recover and everything would be okay again. Recovery is a scary thought though.
I hate my scars because they remind me of the nights that I try to pretend never happened.
I used to be a really confident kid, but that all changed in about the 6th grade.
In my family we are pressured to pretend like we are perfect and it kills me. My family is made up of some of the fakest people I have ever encountered.
I have very strong morals and I donâ€™t even know why, I just do.
My parents were ashamed of me when they were told I was hurting myself. Their response really damaged my acceptance of my mental health state.
When I developed an eating disorder in the 10th grade, everyone quickly spread rumors. I heard about my own eating disorder through a rumor, up until this point I didnâ€™t know there was a problem. People were baffled because I was always so happy and I panicked to come up with a cover story.
I care a lot.
I wish I could save everyone from whatever is hurting them. Even the people who have hurt me.
I grew up thinking that people would make fun of you if you cried, for that reason I rarely cry.
My parents never made me eat fruits or vegetables because they do not like them. I have always been a picky eater but I have been working on incorporating more nutritious meals into my life.
I donâ€™t know what career I want to pursue and that stresses me out.
I really, really need to go to counseling, but it seems like such a chore.
I am a full time student, I work full time, and I take care of my nephew. I have no time for anything else.
Sometimes I feel so overwhelming sad that I donâ€™t know what to do.
Iâ€™m not at all ashamed of the difficulties I face because I understand mental illness, however I am afraid of speaking out about it because society does not understand it.
I graduated from a pretty big high school but most of the teachers and staff members still know me by name because I liked getting to know them and helping them out.
I often look at little kids and imagine what the rest of their lives will be like.
I am not easily offended. My friends and I used to joke about my inability to eat without freaking out all the time. We all know itâ€™s a serious issue, but there is no reason you canâ€™t laugh about it.
I told my school counselor that I hated counseling because everything was so serious and after that she lightened up and we really got to know each other.
I made the school counselor cry once. I was beginning to relapse and she wanted me to know how much she cared.
I never argue with my parents, but I can not stand them. I just learned at a young age that arguing and responding to their anger gets me nowhere. They canâ€™t punish for things only said in my head.
I often times look at happy people with an understanding that there is probably part of them that nobody knows, much like myself.
When I was little, I mean like elementary school, I used to imagine myself in comparison to the universe. I realized how absolutely small I was and I used to panic at the thought of only being a tiny speck in our universe.
I always try to fight change and in the end that hurts me.
I blame most things on myself, even if itâ€™s not relevant at all.
Anger is a very confusing emotion for me. When I am angry I donâ€™t do things most angry people do, I just become quiet. Later on, I often end up hurting myself by starving, cutting, or throwing up.
I have a hard time building a relationship with anyone because I expect everyone to hurt me and let me down.