im really tired of the world’s shit

my head is pounding, my vision is blurring, and my thoughts are skewed, i am on hour 20 of my fast, boycotting water and food. i read that old people restrict themselves of food and water, as a way of suicide, and the process often lasts around 5-10 days, so i guess that is how long i have left. i am grateful for this kind of suicide because my family and friends might not be aware that my death was volentary, hopefully the will see it as a crude accident, and feel no responsibility. fingers crossed.