I’m just going to start with how getting an education and becoming successful is my top goal in my life
Sorry it’s long. . . good luck. . .
Honestly this goal as weird as it may sound is what’s keeping me alive on some of my most suicidal days. I tell myself I have somewhere to be in my future. I don’t always believe it. . . Like now. I feel like I’m going no where. I’m approaching sophomore year of college. I have great grades but I absolutely HATE the school I’m at right now.
I’ve made the decision to drop out. I tell my parents this after looong delibration. They pretty much tell me I’m a huge failure and a piece of shit whos going nowhere now because I refuse to stay here. . . I HATE that they feel that way because they are who I’ve always been trying to please.
Silly as it may seem these are the small no fucking reason why I get so damn low sometimes. . . I’M NOT WORTH ANYONES BREATH. Why should I stick around for however many fucking misearble years so people waste their own precious breath on me, telling me how much I SUCK! I just want to jump out a window right now. . . HOWEVER I WON’T (at this time)
I know that I shouldn’t let people decide my happiness, but damn it feels like I either have to risk my happiness to please other people (that’s how much I HATE this school) this school is FUCKING PATHETIC and doesn’t deserve my time and money. . . but I’m a quitter and failure because I’m leaving? Why do I feel so shitty about a decision I know that is best for me?
4 comments
Do not drop out please, you are the guy with the coolest username on here! We need you to be happy!
You are angry. How will you ever deal with it?
why not change school instead of dropping out?
That’s what I’m doing but for some reason this still makes me feel as if I’m giving up, or at least in the eyes of everyone around me. But in my own mind I am opening up better opportunities, but my own mind is shit sometimes.