(I know that some of you won’t, but please keep your rude, degrading comments to youself. Like a diabetic doesn’t ask for diabetes, people with mental illness don’t ask for it either.)
I inherited bipolar depression from both my mother and father. I’ve had a lot of emotional problems since I was a child. I was always extremely depressed and angry, somtimes suicidal. I had a compulsive cutting addiction as well, not just surface stratches..the kind like “Oh my God hold her down, put pressure on the bleeding. Call an ambulance” I was hospitalized twice which I am immensely grateful for. They gave my bipolar depression diagnosis, and started me on some meds.
Fortuneatly for 4 years I’ve been regulated on quite a cocktail of mood stabilizers, anxiety pills, and antidepressants. I have never cut since! In short, I’ve been quite happy and content with my life. I found the ASHLEY that has been trapped inside for so long!! BUT…..
in the past month I’ve noticed a change in my thinking. I’m having FREQUENT, PAINFUL ANXIETY ATTACKS. I don’t think I’m having a mood swing, but I’ve got this weird feeling in my head. I don’t really have much a reason to be sad, but I am. I just feel extremely uncomfortable in my own skin. I try to do things to keep my mind busy but I just can’t concentrate on things. I’m disinterested in everything I normally like to do. I CAN’T SLEEP at night and when I crash after being wired up for 17 hours I sleep for about a day. It upsets me because I feel like I’m wasting my life. I don’t know what is wrong with me, but it’s getting worse every day. I see my pschiatrist in a week, but it seems like a long time until then.
Can someone help? Maybe give me some insight on what might be going on? How I can make things better?