Why is it so hard?

I want to die, and not because I’m going through some ‘rough times’ or whatever, I’ve felt this way since I was at school.
I’m in my 20’s and I have mental health problems, manic depression, insomnia, amongst other things, I never have any energy nor feel happiness.

I feel like life isn’t for me, it’s all too hard when I think of it all, it’s so daunting and I just don’t have the energy for it. I can’t hold down a job because of my insomnia, so what’s the point of living? I’m not wired properly to ever be happy and I’ll always have problems doing normal things.

I believe it’s a basic right for any living being to be able to end their life, yet it’s so hard to do so, I don’t like pain and I’m scared of something going wrong if I attempted anything, it just makes me so mad the way this world is, all I want is a quick and easy way out but apparently the government,  people in power, or  the law (whichever) get their kicks from letting people suffer, I can’t even get a gun where I live.

I’m just so fed up.