If I was stupid ???

“Have you ever seen office space? Is this the worst day of my life? Yes yes it is. Guess what I get to look forward to tomorrow. The next worst day of my life. The day after that….well you get the point”

LOL!

Yes. Me too.

Idk about that rach. As much as i appreciate the severity of your unnamed condition, and feel i understand as well as someone outside those circumstances possibly can, and truly empathize…

Try to imagine being a hypersensitive mentally gifted person with real attention deficit disorder and a “mild” (comparatively) physical problems, who is profoundly depressed by the reality i observe and intuitively, almost effortlessly understand; the result is what is often called an “invisible disability.” People can’t tell anything is wrong by my look or the way i speak. My thoughts strike with lightning speed and intensity, with a clarity i cannot even hope to adequately describe… and yet, my body, even my brain, just won’t do what i really want it to do. “Normal” people seem to think i’m “lazy” or “not trying hard enough.” But they just don’t understand how difficult it is to consciously control and cope with everything all at once. I’m easily overloaded and it’s exhausting. I see so clearly that there is little, if any reason, to even try. Success? Monetary gains? But then what? There is no purpose other than to feel good while we’re alive, or at least avoid as much of the pains and damages as is possible. But even when we do our absolute best, we can be so easily ruined by someone else who doesn’t care enough to bother to look out for the negative impacts of their actions upon others. My consideration, alone, is not enough to carry the entire world. I can’t be considerate-of-others-enough, for everyone. I have enough for myself and maybe a few other people… but in addition to fighting the constant war against my “invisible disability,” there is also the requirement to “babysit” other people, often adults, who should damn well be fully capable of being considerate, all on their own, who simply… aren’t; whether intentionally or inadvertently.

Imagine if everything you ever saw, immediately made sense… but there was just nothing you could do about it.

I’m not trying to diminish anyone’s struggles, but i think that if you more easily understand more things, and sense more things at once… then seeing and understanding all that’s wrong and can’t be fixed, likely hurts even more.

Then again, there is something to be said for the discomfort of confusion…

So i’m honestly not sure.

Is it worse to understand what you can’t fix, and be driven mad by clearly observable impossibility?

Or is it worse to not understand, and be terrified by confusion?

Maybe they’re roughly equivalent, but just feel different.