My end is near

I’ve found away around my pain problems, sleeping pills, i’m going to OD myself after I write a note, then again who would care my friends no longer like to talk to me, my mom and brothers have told me literally they wish I didn’t exist, and a girl that I love no longer wants to see me; I can’t stop crying. I know in my first post where I told my story I was told things would get better, I did think that but now I have nothing, I wish I could die just by wanting to die, saddly that’s not possible.