my self-harm…

This was really hard to do on my phone, but I just wanted to tell you guys a little about me. Um, I started self-harming when I was in middle school, when I met my first “serious” boyfriends. His arms were covered in scars, and at that age, I was so impressionable. I started out with paper clips and safety pins on my left wrist, not doing much else. When I figured out I could break apart pencil sharpeners, I did that, on my upper left shoulder. As I transitioned into high school, things got a little worse, but it’s been in the last two years that I really started cutting. There are scars on my left arm near my inner elbow from a suicide attempt, scars on my chest from times where I hated my body so much I thought that would help, scars on my tummy from when I couldn’t figure out why my ex hates me so much (amoung unorganized cuts, there is a “why” carved into there). The worst is my upper thighs, though. This is where the deepest cuts have been, and almost always it’s words or names. I have carved in “ugly,” “liar,” “you ruin everything,” “Fuck you,” “its never worth it,” and so much more. Now I have to live with the fact that some day, I will have children who will ask me about my scars, and I have no idea what I will say. Self-harm is not a joke, it’s not funny. It’s also not fun. It’s a horrible way to handle your emotions, and every cut and scar is another regret. There are ways to handle your emotional stress, people to talk to. If anyone ever needs someone to talk to, they can message me. Be strong, everyone.